Torquay United V Bristol Rovers 27th April 2013

[Glostergull]

I was going to look forward starting this thread extolling the virtues of the City of Bristol, well one half of it anyway. Not my fault there is a red side too.
This match has taken on a little more significance though due to to todays result. We still really need a point to ensure safety. Although one or other of the teams below us and above he Shots will make the result irrelevant.It would be nice to be able to just enjoy the match for a change without having high blood pressure. But lets start with a lighter look on things.
I will take a short stroll though as tourist guide through this major outpost of the South West.
The City. Famous for Wallis and Gromit. Brunel. The band Portishead. (yes I know that’s Sarf of the River Guv, But people don’t know where the hell Portishead is let along that it’s near Bristol. It’s just easier to say it’s Bristol).
There are many more celebs from A list to ZZ list it’s not worth putting them all down.
The SS Grape Written. Cabot Tower. Temple Meads. Clifton Suspenders Bridge. The Downs. The University. Redcliffe. The Cathedrals, Both of them. Clifton School Of which I can proudly claim I was a pupil, And I got the certificate of insanity to prove it. Just some of the wonderfull attributes of this City. But we are not going there. They are coming here.
Pity really I was looking forward to extolling the vital statistics of such landmark tourist spots as St Pauls. Easton. And Stapleton Road. All top spots that on the tourist trail show Liverpool up as not having it all their own way. Yes Folks you can get yer Cortinal nicked or at least the wheels pulled off when you stop at the lights just as easily in Easton as you can In Toxteth.
You can see or at least hear the sport openly practiced around Easton and Stapleton as Chavs race around trying to shake off the local Plod only to be lit up by the bear in the air. I’ve seen it all.
Drugs. You name it I bet its available. Openly too. And the entertainment on hand. Loads of it. All draping themselves against the local lampposts.
Not a place I wander in if I can help it but sometimes I have to. Make sure your in a Jag, Merc or Beamer, with darkened glass. Then they think you’re the local pimp.
Of Course you can visit the more Northernly Hot spot of Yate and Sodden Chipbury. The posh spot.
But we are hosting them.
Shame really I was reading the latest news of their new stadium. It should start this summer. All of the objections are now gone. The final date when objections could be lodged and an appeal lodged are gone. The Secretary in a State has given the go ahead. All that remains is the sorting out of section 106 with South Gloucestershire Council over Exits and routes. Amenities to be provided and little extras that will make the Council members happy that they can all have a happy day out in a nice warm executive box. (only joking guys) I think.
Other more notable sights used to be the Choccie Factory at Keynsham. Well it was until those damned Yanks Yanked it off us and stuffed the workers with the usual lies as they out fought the opposition who in fairness where open about their plans to close it as well. It didn’t make any difference to the workers though did it.
The City has though been at last put on the map. ( I know it was on the AA map) With plans to introduce Electrification of the Western Main Line from London Paddington to South Wales.
Yours truly has even been asked to bid for help in the project.
It hasn’t half raised some eyebrows though in certain quarters as many are now asking just how much Hornby track will I be supplying and will the Hornby Controller be sufficient to provide power as far as Swansea.
I hope so. I am putting in a little man at the side of the track at Swindon with the controller. He will be sited in a hole just by the old works.
It’s the number of 8 x 4 baseboards that’s got me flummoxed a bit though. That’s gonna be a real bummer to do. And the size of track boxes has to be seen to be believed.
Mind you. The rest of the South West Peninsula has been left out again and I fear it will have to make do with all the old secondhand me downs from the rest of the UK as other lines are upgraded. So all those waiting for the !8:15 to Playmouth will still have to travel in those open coaches pulled by the Rocket. And I have heard on good authority that The old Loco “Tiny” That used to be on show at Newton Abbot is to be refurbished and used on express services. With the Royal Navy providing assistance at Cowley bridge.

Bristol Rovers come into this match cock a hoop and Chuffed to little Zider Apples over the overall end to their season. This is going to be one tough match for us, as they have been showing nothing short of promotion form in the last 3 months.

It’s ironic that when the season started they were expected to be one of the teams to run away with the title. A 3-1 defeat against Ipswich Town and defeat against Oxford with only a point shared with Barnet heralded a disappointing start to the season.

September came and along with it 6 league matches, and one Johnston’s paint ball trophy match which they immediately bowed out of the competition to Yeovil 0-3 The league left them with only one win albeit one that left a smirk and rather warm feeling for all Gulls fans as Exetrrrr were beaten 2-1 but the other ushered in a total of 3 losses and 3 draws.
Although we had started quite promisingly, Rovers had only a rather disappointing October to look back on as they only lost 3 games, drawing one and winning the other 2 including the derby (If I can call it that against us in an exhilarating 3-2 defeat. Which consigned that warm feeling to the dustbin rather quickly. Not the result we wanted but hey. At least we went down fighting.

I am sure had it lasted another few minutes it’s entirely possible we may have saved a point but it was not to be.

November was what could be called a disappointing month and calls were loud for the head of Mr Magoo. Only one win, one draw and 4 defeats left Rovers huge hoard of fans seething, and crowds dropped alarmingly for them although I would trade a couple of thousand with them for us any day. It would make the Bench look an awfull lot better. I am talking about an official transfer of fans of course. Never been done before and we would have to send them for political retraining of course so they would remember that the team they followed had Yellow as their main colour and played at Plainmoor not the Mem. I can just hear the cries now. Or was it howling like banshees.
Whatever. It was a nice dream while it lasted.

December was a pretty poor month. It was messed up for a lot of us by the weather and it would have been interesting to see how things would have panned out if fixtures had not been postponed. But 3 defeats and one draw was all it took for the board to look elsewhere for its inspiration. As January left the blue feeling blue in more ways than one.

Enter the dragon. Bruce lee. Oh sorry forgot myself there for a minute. Mr Alan Ward.
Yes. Yes I know it’s really John Ward. I just wanted to make sure you hadn’t nodded off.

If ever there was a catalyst for setting off a chain reaction, John Ward was it. He arrived quietly and unassumingly and set about to creckk the mess left by PB. (Note the Devonshire term there. See I am trying to not give away my Bristol-Welsh connection)

What followed was not far short of a nuclear reaction
Everyone who know anything about Nuclear reactions will know that they start slowly and build up until they run all on their own and they can run away like an express train if not looked after can be uncontrollable.

I wouldn’t for one minute suggest their form was uncontrollable but it certainly changed.

After about 4 or 5 weeks. Rovers went on a run that had it another 2 matches to go I am darned sure the season would have seen them go into the playoffs and eventual promotion.
As it is they ran out of games. But being the team defiantly in form I have no doubt they would have made it if another game or two had existed, It generally seems to prove the point that the team that gets into the playoffs at the last minute do so on a run of form that is hard to resist and most teams buckle under the onslaught. (Sorry I had to mention that name. I know how painful it all is for us to keep being reminded of our esteemed king of Scotland. Oh that was Idi Amin wasn’t it? Mind you they did have a lot in common). Of course it does help if the club have the resources to keep the run going.

March certainly saw that with 4 wins, one defeat and one draw. This month saw them win 2 so far and again on defeat and one draw. They go into our match having as yet to play Accrington sadly. A much maligned place, which should be on the international tourist trail for the world. At least for manic-depressives anyway. Oh ok. Just depressives.
I have no doubt they will turn over Accy. At least I hope they do. It’s got to be the most awful ground in the whole league. A stadium.(How the eckythump can they have the gall to call it a stadium, with the roof of the main stand nicked from the local railway station).oh that’s another thread. Soo sooorrrryy.
So they now come to Plainmoor on top of the world so to speak as far as they feel certainly. The prospect of the Playoffs died with the away defeat to Bradford City after a thumping. A defeat that left them a little shell shocked. But hey you can’t win the all. That by the way seems to have been the saying that resounds around the Mem lately. I can’t blame them. Boy oh boy would we have loved a resurgence like that.

Rovers fortunes have been changed due to astute signings by Wardy. Although Mark Magoo brought in some good signings. At least I think they were, and it will be proved in time if they stay.
Northern Irish Defender Mark McChrystal Signed up in January from Tranmere, who has helped shore up the defence and striker Ryan Brunt have proved to really set the place alight. We will have to be on our toes to keep up with them. Brunt is only young, but as often happens. Has come up from the reserves and bounded into the first team with youthful enthusiasm. He has score a lot of goals and become the new Rovers hero. We may have Torquay old Boy Scott Bevan return to Plainmoor but I doubt he will be first choice keeper as Steve Mildenhall was signed in defence along with Mark McChrystal is Shaquille Hunter, Adam Virgo and Danny Woodards. Although Woodard was badly injured last week and he may well miss the rest of the season.
Rovers as befitting the size of the club has strength in depth and can call on the services of Ollie Clark, Fabian Broghammer and Michael Smith.
Midlfield lately has seen the likes of New signing Oumare Tonkara. Or to us I would suggest we can call him Tonka Toy. He impressed JW enough to not only sign him but put him into the first team almost straight away. Oh for contacts like that we could really reap the rewards.Ellis Harrison. Ollie Norburn and Lee Brown. Up front they usually have Elliot Richards. Ryan Brunt who we will have to really watch or he will certainly score. Although they recently lost the services of John Joe O’toole as he returned to Colchester I believe.
One striker they have who has seemed to be a little invisible lately is Matt Harrold. I am not sure why he is not in the team at present. I am not aware he was injured but I have no doubt someone will put me right on that one,. Many Rovers fans will be heartened that he has signed a new 2 year contract today.

We do have to watch a lot of the team though as Ward has installed a belief that goals can come from all of the team and Brunt has shared the scoring with Broghammer. Tounkara. Danny Woodards. Harrison. Ollie Norburn. Lee Brown. And Tom Hitchcock since 2nd March. That’s seven players in the last 8 matches. Oh that we could have so many players queuing up to score.

Now to things a little more yellow.
We have a new lover of Billy. Please take your Bow. AndyBodinlover. Haha couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy and I am sure your moniker, avatar and all will return to normal eventually some time next season or so. Or maybe not. We may get to like it. You never know.
Together With such esteemed Followers and legendary fans on the popside as Doris and FiatPandalover. Oops sorry Ferrari lovedup and Trojan. We take a trip down mammary lane to days far off when we would trip along to Plainmoor to see a win and us topping the table or something like that. The sun would shine on Babbacombe beach. I could afford to go to matches and the sewage wasn’t flowing nicely onto the beaches after the wall was breached between Torquay and Paignton. Can’t for the life of me remember the name of that damned hotel now?
Life was once rosy and we all called each other luvvy and said nice things about the team and manager. The board were almost revered and held in such high esteem as to be lauded as almost holy. Seated at Gods right hand. Oops sorry, Yet again I managed to accidentally mention the King of Scotland.
Now we have come down to earth and reality has arrived. Things aren’t so rosy down the road from where I live although I have noticed that Rovers fans have been very gracious and not come into my handsome establishment shoving it all down my throat.
Martin Ling was taken ill leaving us a little shell-shocked. A new manager took time to find and then things happened slowly but it has happened. I have no doubt had Alan not changed things then we would be standing on the edge looking down the depths of an abyss wondering if we could ever possibly climb out.
Things were not helped when the rain lost us the Barnet game at the last minute and they accused us of rigging the game so we had more time to get some of the team fit. Yeah right, as if.
So sour grapes pervaded the game from the Bees on Tuesday night. It came home to roost though as we came good just in the nick of time. I only wish I could have been there.
In fact If AndyBodinlover could have been there I am sure we could have been treated to the scene of his kissing of Billy’s boots and bowing down in the mud as Billy put his stilleto heels on Andy’s back to hold him down in’t Mud. That’s how they say things oop norf isn’t it Andy.


Our own Form is well short of that but after the win on Tuesday night which was the acid test of our Character. (most of the acid being in my stomach as the fortunes of our club during this game have probably given me an ulcer together with the melted sole on my boots and acid Comments from the forum).
My blood pressure has yet to fall and despite having now had a few days to let the result sink in I still am walking around like a Zombie from The Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy.
I will no doubt resurface ready to post this mind boggling piece of drivel on the board as the match day thread.
As usual I am writing this at some ungodly hour which most of you didn’t realise existed. Most of the neighbours around here tucked up in bed or hammock wondering why this loony is up writing such rubbish. And does he have a life. (don’t you lot dare comment).

This match has the potential to be the saving grace of our season. Much has been waxed lyrical about the battle on Tuesday, But this Saturday. With Morecambe away. We have to rouse the rally cry.
We will fight them on the beaches. Etc. Well at least as long as the tide doesn’t come in anyway. Ok In suppose we could upset the Chinese and nick all the cockles. The match against Rovers will then hopefully be a carnival atmosphere.
I cannot for the life of me imagine the atmosphere if it it is still all up for grabs by the time Rovers roll into town. The Union will hoist the flags, Like one of her maj’s Battle ships of our grate Navy. Well it was once wasn’t it. So I was told. Oh what do I know?
I would like to think this report will herald the onslought of hoards of Rovers Fans along with Gulls fans doing a massive Conga all around the edge of the pitch. No one even thinking of hurling abuse or bottles of Coke. The drink you numpties. Not the white stuff.
Although after a few sniffs it would be interesting to see if anyone was able to even stand to do the Conga.
Mind you I do seem to keep getting the bubbles go up my nose, and I can’t get the hang of cutting the coke with the razor. Ever time It comes into contact with the coke the razor gets wet and then shorts out. ….. What, I didn’t know. Yes yes I know now. Doh!
I have visions of the stadium Full to the brim. Everyone all friendly. Well excepting maybe a few. Brucie, yer banned. No negatives allowed in the stadium that day.
The Food Kiosks shovelling money into wheelbarrows and they sell bucketful of Chocolate Chips and tomato sauce with Marmite Milk shakes.
Tea, with three spoons of salt. Yes boys I will find him …eventually.
Hot dogs that look like hotdogs and chips that are crisp and tasty. Yeah well we can all dream.
Then the match is played out. We are safe. We all dance all the way to Abbey sands and play in the sand. Assuming the tide is out. Paddle in the waves if it’s in. in the wind and rain. Chris and I will play out the final holes of the Masters at the Abbey Mini Crazy Golf Course. I will cheat as much as I can get away with, to beat him at last.
Andy. You can keep score.
Aussie Trojan and I will hoist a glass of something to toast our season. And then put some marmalade on the toast.
And after all is said and Done I will trudge back up to sunny Yateey as they say up here if your posh. Or Lower Sodbury if Your really Posh.
We will retire to regurgitate the season and rest easy in the knowledge that we will be reliving it all again next season in league two hopefully at the other end this time.

As I write this heap of dung. I am mindfull of it being the final pre match bilge of the season. I will be dog tired and it will be several days before the match is played out. I will have choked on my pepsi as I reaslise it isn’t coke. Sod those bubble!
But I will look forward to a well deserved holiday this time unusually for me looking or at least hoping for the sun to show it’s tiny self in the sky as it tries it’s best to hide among the clouds. (I have just found out that clouds are in my computer. Hell I hope it doesn’t rain. It will ruin the thing).
I will rest on a beach somewhere. I think they still exist.
I will not even try to think of football for a long time. About
Roughly 0.03 of a second will be about right. Then I will retire to my bed dreaming we win the league and F.A. Cup Double next season . Beating all the along the way Crawley in the first round 11-0 as they crash back to reality and go bust to go out of the league. Exetrrr in the 2nd round. Plymuff in the 3rd round. Saving Man City Liverpool and Manure to the 4th 5th and quarter finals. To get to Wombley after walloping Bristol City in the Semis to return to Torquay in Triumph after winning 3-0 over Spurs. Serves em right for 1965. Pride restored. Damn the wife has just woken me up. Oh well I suppose it was with a cuppa. I can dream can’t I?

MAtt. It is entirely possible there are plenty of speellling Mishtooks in this piss of Drivel. it's stupid O'clock and I am table tired. (tables are still more usefull than cats so there!)
Ponitificate if you like but I can't be arsed to do anything about it. Night night Folks!

[Southampton Gull]

Epic.

[Glostergull]

Dave. my man. You indeed humble me. You mean you actually sat down and read all this drivel?

[AustrianAndyGull]

Not bad for a first attempt GG. :na:

I'd better not post up the vote thingy again that asks, 'MATCHDAY THREADS - MINE OR GG's ?' as i might very well lose.

Excellent thread GG and almost as long as some of mine . I can tell you anticipate the games with Rovers a lot more than most of us as it means a lot to you so here's hoping the lads can get a win on the board next weekend so we can ALL be happy!

Well done mate.

[SuperNickyWroe]

well done glos.
could have been worse - i mean the bodinfan/lover could have written it.......................

[KentGull]

Bloody hell GG... I've just had to book half a day off work to read all that!

[Parry]

The fact there's still something to play for should add a few more to the gate. I wonder what the attendance will be.

[tktufc91]

I'll be there. God this week is going to drag.

[robbotufc]

was at the Rovers match today just hope they roll their dire performance today into our game with them next week,but knowing our luck they will put in a cracking performance on this season last day,the early accrington stanley goal was a cracker,was so hoping for rovers would win today

[AdelaideGull]

I'll be there!

That's subject to my grovelling email reaching Andrew Candy.........?

I leave Adelaide local time Wednesday 10.30am and land at Thiefrow @ 05.30am Thursday morning. Meetings in Bristol (would you believe!) Thursday/Friday and driving down to TQ1 late Friday afternoon - 10,500 miles one way.........

May drop by the Boots & Laces and introduce myself to one and all?

R

[brucie]

Bloody hell thats nearly as far as my trip to Morecambe yesterday!

[brucie]

Get this man a free ticket and a signed shirt!

[brucie]

Could he also get a £5 voucher left over from the Morecambe game!

[AdelaideGull]

Brucie,

Any ticket will do! And I'm more than happy to pay my way - what with the Aussie dollar v British pound these days........

[A Candy]

Hi Adelaide Gull,
I have received your email and will sort you so don't worry. Will reply to your email tomorrow.
Regards,
Andrew