Martin ling

[Trojan 67]

stones bitter? :no:
Looks like sh*t and apparently tastes like sh*t............
that stuff cant even travel out of the brewery gates never mind out of sheffield before it goes off............. =D
now barnsley/acorn bitter, thats a fine drop!

and christine my fave diamondgirl, a drop has not yet passed my lips.
however I cant speak for trojan the drunken s*d!

My South Yorks Mining uncles liked it and so did their mates. Me and my brother when we visited Askern Miners Welfare liked it. Ale Al (don't confuse with halal) still likes it.

As for real "piss wattar" , that's what uncles Tom and Walter called Plymouth Brewery ales when they came down to Torquay on holiday.

As for those who say this is drifting off topic, is it really ?

Don't all go rush to check the thread title.

[diamondgirl]

SNW, Soooorrrrrryyyyyy. <3 <3

Troj. You really are a very naughty boy. :devil: :devil:

[Trojan 67]

Troj. You really are a very naughty boy. :devil: :devil:

Agreed. And I'm definitely not the Messiah.

Theressh one thing good though, PSDs (professional social drinkers) can do real good Connery impresshions.



"Who takesshs a knife to a gunfight ?"


"Missh Funnyfanny, tell M, Bond ish here."

[Trojan 67]

perhaps look at soccerbase and bbc yourself,because your assertion is plainly wrong. From the end of October until Ling's departure we won only THREE games and went on a silly run of something like 6 games where we threw away winning or drawing positions in a row. Two or three games running throwing games away is careless, but SIX!!!!! Ling would have been sacked by some clubs for a run like that and many of us were predicting a slide towards the relegation zone before he even went off sick. It could be that the run we went on under Taylor would have happened anyway, under Ling. it could be that it wouldn't have happened. We will never know but what is clear is that team and the performances were in decline before Martin Ling went off sick.

[ferrarilover]

Can't believe I'm typing this again...

At the end of October, we were in the final playoff place. By the time Dinger left, we were 6 points outside the playoffs with a game in hand, so effectively 3 points outside worse off than we were before this mysterious "worst run of any club ever Oh Em Gee Martin Ling is so, like, the worst, like, manager, like, ever!!!!!!22!!2!22!!"

We were doing fine up until Dinger left. The minute he walked out the door, we lost our next 3,864,217 games. It really isn't hard to see where, when and why this season went the way it did.

Matt.

[Trojan 67]

"Missh Funnyfanny, tell M, Bond ish here."

This in no way indicates a Frisian slip, poker tell, Miss Funnyfanny (Moneypenny) is Thea, M is for Martin or Bond (007 licensed to kill) is here to deliver the bullet.

No Frisian, Freudian or Parisian were harmed in the making of this post.

[chunkygull]

Look - in recent home games - with the glaring exception of one player- it isn't Poke, how the Yellow shirts have chased, harried and tackled the opposition. Benyon and Jarvis especially. Definitely more of the same for Saturday please.

Ball retention and passing piss poor still, be hey, can't overturn ingrained bad habits of a season in just a few tail-end matches.

The manager (scrutinised by the board), next season, will run training sessions like a dog face sergeant major. In the style of Gunny Highway (Clint Eastwood, Heartbreak Ridge), would be ideal.

All will start at 9.00am (not get their at 9.00, not get changed at 9.00, but start sweating at 9.00). Dawdlers too slow to get there, change, still admiring their Rolex, Mercedes, etc will have to arrive at 7.00am.

Hard, back breaking sessions will last more than what has been the usual derisory one hour. Hell, it won't be all bad, there'll be team bonding activities such as full on bare knuckle boxing, relay racing up and down Babbacombe Beach Hill and cross Bay Torquay to Brixham swimming sessions. That should take care of all morning activities.

Afternoon sessions will be in the weights room and tactics classroom followed by visits to local minimum wage places of work where the players can meet the supporters who pay their wages.

oohrah

love this post especially the red bit.

i can just imagine them running along the seafront, with mansell leading the way, singing -
" model A ford and a tank full of gas, handful of p***y and a mouthful of a** "

[Trojan 67]

love this post especially the red bit.

i can just imagine them running along the seafront, with mansell leading the way, singing -
" model A ford and a tank full of gas, handful of p***y and a mouthful of a** "

Can anyone actually see nice guy Martin being a hard nose SOAB? Can anyone see our kindly board ever employing a hard nose SOAB?

Some on here want this thread to die/go quietly into the night.

NORFOLK ENCHANCE



Dogface Gunnery Sergeant Thomas Highway (in rough gruff voice) :

" A bunch of Congressmen, who a**hole to a**hole couldn't organise a beer fart in a whirlwind, decide no more shore time for your basic ass in the grass Marine. So in true Corp fashion, we salute and do an aboutface back to the boom boom garbage dump where we proceed to get the clap, the crabs and a general poor attitude toward the female of the species."





Does someone with the no nonsense approach of Highway sound like the team manager we need?


Glossary

SOAB - son of a b*tch

[Trojan 67]

Team pep talk from SOAB Gunny Highway (in rough gruff voice) :

"You ladies do not impress me. I've banged more quiff and drank more beer than all of you together ever will. At 05:00 HRS you're mine, so go stick your pathetic little peckers in your honeys or in a knothole in the fence because tomorrow you'll begin to learn how to be Marines, so when we're in some far off land, I don't get my ass shot off cos you don't ablah."


Oh yes please Directors, a manager like Highway.

[hector]

Can't believe I'm typing this again...

At the end of October, we were in the final playoff place. By the time Dinger left, we were 6 points outside the playoffs with a game in hand, so effectively 3 points outside worse off than we were before this mysterious "worst run of any club ever Oh Em Gee Martin Ling is so, like, the worst, like, manager, like, ever!!!!!!22!!2!22!!"

We were doing fine up until Dinger left. The minute he walked out the door, we lost our next 3,864,217 games. It really isn't hard to see where, when and why this season went the way it did.

Matt.

You are talking nonsense.

In the first three months of the season we gained 25 points. In the final three months of Ling's reign we gained 10 points. That is a pretty poor return and the fact we were in a shout of the play-offs is because the congested nature of the division this season - not because we were doing well. Practically the whole division was in with a shout of the play-offs or relegation at that time. We were only 10 pts or so clear of relegation at that time also and our form had dipped so badly that relegation was a call many of us were suggesting after pointing to the example of Macclesfield the year before.

Ignoring the fact that we were already on a pretty dismal run when Ling went off sick just makes your argument look silly.

I am not for one minute suggesting the club appoint Alan Knill. I don't think he is any better than Ling and if anything probably less capable of the signings we need. But I just think bringing back Martin Ling is just going to turn people away. Opinion is so divided that he would start with half the ground on his back already and therefore it is probably for the best - rightly or wrongly - that a new manager is installed. I have a horrible feeling that the board are going to be lazy and that if they get rid of Ling (because you can probably surmise that the board are as split as the supporters) they will just go for Knill when I don't think his record has been that good.

[chunkygull]

picture the changing rooms, first day back to training -

ling enters "i am your manager martin ling, ive drank more beer and pissed more blood, banged more quiff and busted more heads than all you numbnuts put together,now mrs bristow has put me in charge of this football team."

mansell replies - "we can take care of ourselves"

ling - "you couldnt take care of a wet dream. the board loves you."

mansell - "i know that."

ling - "you men dont impress me"

nicholson - "our torquay squad kicks butt."

ling grabs him by the nose - "now if you ladies think you can slip and slide 'cause last time i was a pussy and just marking time until retirement, you had better start acting like athletes right now."

mansell - "who are we playing for here."

ling - "Im not doing this because i want to take long showers with you @ssholes, i dont want to lose my job because you get beat 3:0 in some far away land like accrington, because you arent fit enough, comprendez"

mansell - "hoorah"

nicholson - "yes gaffer"

bodin comes out of the shower , towel wrapped around him, shades on, big earring, rolex on wrist, chucks down the keys to his bmw - singing "girl you know i think you're fine, and you've got that big behind"

ling glares at him and squints, bodin pulls his shades down and gulps. ling stands by bodin.

ling - "well,well,well,well,im here to tell you all, life as you know it has ended, you might as well go to town tonight, you might as well laugh and make fools of yourself, rub your pathetic little peckers up against your honey or stick it in a knothole in the fence, but whatever it is get rid of it because at 0600 tomorrow"

- turns to bodin grabs his ear looks at him with glee, squints and says -

"your ass is mine" and rips the earring out.

[Trojan 67]

oorah

[Trojan 67]

Poor form before the illness is one thing. Speculation, rumour and innuendo after the fact are other things.The former or the latter has damaged Martin's credibility/reputation? Probably it's both in equal measure.

The worst possible outcome after Saturday is Martin sorting the retained list and then leaving by "mutual consent". What's the use of that? If he does the retained list then he stays and is given the funds to build for next season.

It's been a while since opinion was this partisan and divided. What a flustercuck.

[Trojan 67]

Clint the squit at his best as Gunny Highway :

[chunkygull]

thats the scene. superb. one of his best films. love it.