Torquay United V Cheltenham

[Glostergull]

Well Hello boys and girls. Welcome from me to the new season and another taste of my previews of our opposition.
For those of you who are either from Cheltenham or are Posh,. Aut Viam Inveniam aut faciam. Or other such words to confuse you all. Parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus.
No I am not trying to write this in Latin although I think that may well be good idea as Cheltenham is meant to be posh.
I leave you to translate this, if you really do have difficulty, then I will provide one myself, It is genuine. I knew my posh edurcashun at Clifton would come in andy, mate.

So here we are at Lady Maddona's boudoir having secretly come up the M5 sneaking a peek at the gals in the high School in case they are feeling a little naughty. Well you know these private Skool kids. After 16 anything is game providing it's rich and drives a Porch. Although in most cases around Cheltenham they are more likely to get Some scroat in a souped up mk3 escort with it's bumper hanging off as it careers around trying to hold off the Hot Fuzz.
For al you posh lot who live there and Think Gloucester is lower than you. Up Yours in fine fashion as we have less crime than you. Na na na na na.

There have been a few notables who came from Cheltenham in past years.
On the footballing side apart from Martin Devany and Steve Cotterill. There was a certain player called Mike Sumerbee. Now I wonder what happened to him. Oh come on. I ain't that old!
But Cheltenham is not so famous for producing footballers. Much better in the Arts and media though.
Gustav Holst leads the way really. Composer of the wonderful planets suite. Ralph Richardson the Actor. Kate Thornton. (is this one for The Boilers thread boys). Richard O'Brien of the Rocky Horror Show. Arthur Negus. (For the oldies who remember the Antiques roadshow. No not us antiquties). Mark Lester. Again one for the Oldies who remember the film Oliver Twist. E were Oliver E were. Robert Ardy of Vetinary Fame. Eh by Gum! I have been reliably informed that one Mike Grady came from there too. ( Got a feeling he was in last of the Summer Wine. As well as Corrie)
And One Arther Bomber Arris. Who is famous for dropping a lot of big bombs of Berlin and other German Cities. That were WW2 that were.. Well he didnt actually drop em unlike a few on here who are apt to drop things. Like clangers etc. He organsised Bomber Command to blow Itlers Brains owt if they could.
And last if not least. The one and only. The inestimable. The fearless. Indomitable. Most famous Solicitor of them all. I bring you Eddie the Eagle Edwards.
Now laugh at him all you like. But I doubt any of you would be daring enough to throw yourselves off a very high slope which is in height and steepness can only be likened to the Babbacombe Cliff Railway. It be steep. Very high and you would have to throw a lot more than caution to the wind to try it. I don't know quite how many Lagers. Beers. Shots or whatever you drink would have to be consumed or even whacky backy smoked, But I for one would not be so p****d as to be so stupid to dive off a high cliff and abseil on a couple of wooden sticks at a rate of knots to make your face reshape it'self as if going through the sound barrier. To hopefully land in two or less pieces on the ground the other end or is it bottom. Which hopefully has nice soft snow on it in case you are all arms and tits about face, Yes Guys the girls do this insanely stupid sport too. It's called downhill ski jumping. (well it would be downhill wouldn't it. Could hardly do it uphill) I call it downhill crashing with marks in the following order.
Scream at top as you see what a steep slope it is,
.
Manic launch (possibly from hefty push from behind as you get caught short in fright at height and have second thoughts.)

Angle of launch. With arms and legs flailing all over the place.
Colour of Pants. Usually shown by close angle shot from camera behind as you s**t yourselves in sheer unadulterated terror.

Take off. (as one shoots off end totally out of control)

Flight. If one could call it that. Bomber Arris would ave summat to say if shown on radar.

LANDING. Or more commonly called crashing. (in strangled heap screaming in fright amid a flurry of broken arms and legs. With Neck askew in odd angle to leap up at the end (hmm well maybe leap is a tad optimistic) and triumph at the thought you made it even if you now resemble Frankinscences monster or even more weird and wonderful creations from you imagination.

Well that is what Eddie Brought us.

The fact that none of us in their right mind would be so certifiably insane as to leap from that slope is neither here nor there. He did it and survived. Yup Sure enough he was last. And sure enough it was by some margin too. But he did it. And was the the talk of the town for years.
Now I am not encouraging any of you to be so dumb or dumber as to try it, and I am still not sure given his career now, But is this an age old custom that is required to be admitted to the Bar. In which case we wonder do we not whether Matt will soon be seen screaming at the top of his voice (which will no doubt be good practice for yelling on the pop side) as he prepares to sit the final exam for solicitorship your honour.
I know I will be at the bottom to not just encourage/Laugh/Cry/ delete as appropriate. I will offer a shoulder to cry on Knowing he has just put his out or even broken it. I will help him up (only to find his legs missing in action) and count what limbs he has left. If any ready to prop him up at the next bar stool we find while he has us put our hands in his pocket (well it's unlikely he will have any attached by then) and help him take his valium to calm him down ready for the next round. Which will have to be a pint if you please.

It doesn't seem like a couple of weeks since we last visited the place, but Whaddon Road is much the same save for having featured in the New advert for the League season. Anyone seen it. No I thought not!

Nestled in the lee of the Cotswolds. Cheltenham is a pretty town. Not as big as Gloucester or with half the facilities ( I know I live there). It has got an open air pool. (at least we can afford a covered one). And a park. A Couple of really rough council estates. A town center which you need a railway to travel from one end of to the other as it's so long. (At least Gloucester has a compact one which you can get to all the shops in one easy walk and parking on top of them too. )
In addition you can use the train to go shopping whereas in Cheltenham the station is miles from the shopping area. In fact it seems miles from anywhere except a few houses.

There I think that has managed to advertise Gloucester as being better than the posh lot up the road.
Boy have we taken stick from the posh lot over the years!.

Cheltenham have been reasonably busy in close season. Having had a few leave they have done their best to recruit some bargains and one or two bigger names. Although how successful jamie Cureton will be as he climbs out of his coffin for another stretch on the grass at night. (well I heard he trained only during a full moon). This seasoned grass traveler has seen many clubs as he toured the league over the years. He has collected his fair share of clubs as many other players have and he has probably pocketed a tidy sum in the process. I am not one of the fans of these mercenary players who will always look for the biggest pay packet as you can tell. I have no problem with players who do move on but some just move from season to season and I doubt he has been with a club for long. Bar Brissle Rovers of course. To date he had been with Rovers (His home town club).For longer than any other club. Playing over 170 games for them. Although he was technically a Norwich player for longer he was actually loaned out for much of the second spell and didn't exactly hit it off for one or two clubs. But he did settle at Colchester for a while and did well.
In the last 4 or 5 years he has changed clubs each season and I doubt he now is as lethal as he used to be. (may I not be forced to eat my words).
Cheltenham have been forced to offload one of their better players who was well known to us. And had to reshuffle the sqaud to start this season. They have signed one or two usefull additions in Troy Brown from Aldershot and a pair from Shrewsbury in Matt Richards and Terry Gornell. They have also signed Ryan Innis from Crystal Palace on loan for one month. Whether he will still be at Whaddon road by the time we play them, remains to be seen.
One thing for sure is Gornell has started the season well and we have reason to be worried and should watch him carefully.
One player has returned who was with the Robins before for several seasons. Ashley Vincent a winger has returned after helping Port Vale to promotion last season. He is a pacy winger but with a haul of only 13 goals from the wing in his time previously I doubt he will be too much of a threat, Most decent wingers can usually assist with a decent number of goals each season. Even our old Doris use to manage more from the wings than Vincent.

They have let go of one or two. But they still have the experienced McGlashen to taunt us with Steve Elliot in Midfield who served several seasons with Bristol Rovers as their captain.He is also the Cheltenham Skipper. He has a wealth of experience and I for one would have loved him to forge a partnership with Lee Mansell. Wow what a midfield that would be.
Hopefully the road in and out of Cheltenham will be open this time allowing our boys an easy run home. One had to act as tour guide to escort the team coach to the motorway home after someone forgot to get directions after being told that the A40 was closed that night. I suppose we could have dug up a couple of night owls from their mausoleums to help but I was closer and at hand. Besides I thought I could have directed them to my house for a late night bevy and dropped off Lee just around the corner to say hello to his folks. Ah well I can dream.!
So what has Cheltenham to offer apart from a posh name.
Well pubs. But there are loads everywhere so that's nothing special.
Clubs. Hmmn Nothing springs to mind.
You could go chav watching as cars race around vying to see who has the nerve to lose their escorts.
That is not the escort your thinking of. Although many of them would rather it was. No siree. These have blue bars attached to their roofs and wail a lot. Generaly just runing around in circles as it can take half a dozen cars to shut down the options of those who wish to turn their town into a version of the Nurbergring.
Of course if you like little engineering marvels, you could go to see the little choo choos run around the track at Dowty Rotol.
Or you could aim to get fit climbing up Cleave hill. (So sorry Guys. I forgot to warn you I would mention exercise. I Know it makes you feel tired just thinking of it.)
Another definate favourite is the Steam Railway.(yeah I know. ANORAK WARING) but its a charming way to spend a few hours and I do love the ride. The Glos and Warks. (doesn't go to Warwickshire yet) Is just on the edge of Town by the Racecourse. You could do worse. I know many who wish they had after a couple of matches we had there.
Madonna. Well you could go Madonna watching but I doubt you will see either her or her off spring as they ain't the sort to be hanging around the dives of the area and certainly not in the many spots where there are extra curricular activity late at night. Not that I am in any way inclined to loiter in those sorts of areas. but Knowing madams proclivity for Olympic sessions in the bed and anywhere else, she may like to wear her suitors out.
Gloucester,
Owe that hurts. I thought I would hit a raw spot among those who may be reading from Cheltenham.
Yup Gloucester is definitely livelier than it's posher neighbour, and that's a fact!
There is one other thing that connect The two. Gloucester City FC. Now tenants of Cheltenham as their ground was lost after the disastrous floods of 2007. the stadium was flooded for the second time in only 5 years and they could not get insurance (like most householders can't) after floods totally wrecked the ground leaving it a grim reminder of what can happen when nature has it's way.
For those who have the off bent to wander around looking for old grounds (and they call me an anorak) it is looking very forlorn and derelict with weeds growing several feet high and there is a certain air of depression about it. It sometimes has a certain smell about it too.
Mind you none of the two towns have quite the depressing air of certain of our rivals in league two. I can think of many places I would rather go to than Accy, Hartlepools, Exeter, Dagenham. Need I go on.
Well that's about the size of it from Cheltenhams point of view. Not the worst place, but not the best place either. It's up to your opinions how you find the place.
As the season has progressed so far United have had an indifferent start and with inconsistent performances find ourselves only one please above Cheltenham.
They also have had a surprising indifferent start to the season with a leaky defense which has shipped goals at an alarming rate. Without which I would have expected to see them much higher toward the playoff area., Despite signing Jamie Cureton. There has only been one goal from the Veteran journeyman. And even McGlashan has weighed in with only a couple.
But the main threat has been the pair of Byron Harrison and Mathew Richardson. Who have 4 and 3 goals each respectively.
We have to be on our marks to stop the two of them, if we are to get anything from this match. I personally suspect it has score draw written all over it. Or even a no score draw. Whatever way I have a feeling it won't quite be the normal entertaining match we normally expect from this fixture.
I certainly hope I am wrong for the right reasons. But that remains to be seen.
One of their main threats has certainly been Terry Gornell who has seemed to be the main ingredient in making them tick.
One of their main problems has been in defense..The pair of Elliot and Wilson has been solid enough but two at the back playing well really isn't enough to keep them in the game. The loan signing of Wilson from Bristol City has really been immense for them but they still need another defender to complete their lineup to make them solid. Remembering that Steve Elliot is not getting any younger. I think we can find goals in this game for us. But we need to shore up our own defense if they are to be kept at bay. We need a break. After the hammering at Fleetwood I wondered what performance we could produce at Rochdale. We lost but by no means seemed out of it. I can see things slowly improving and we are traditionally slow out of the block. I definitely suspect there is summat in our water down in Torbay.
I know we have been reasonably solid at the back, but Cheltenham have a habit of scoring a lot of goals. They just undo all the good work by shipping them in at the back for fun.

Anyway I do hope it retains it's usual excitement.
I will be unavailable for this match as I have a wedding to go to.. Never mind I will just have to find another fixture to attend. I am out for two to three weeks with various work commitments so don't expect to see another Saturday Match before Mansfield or Portsmouth. Tuesday matches will be a little easier this season though so Plymuff should be ok. I am looking to get in a few more away games as I try to complete more of the 92 clubs in the league. I will get there eventually
So there you have it. They is a bit posh. But they is definately vulnerable. .

Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?

[AustrianAndyGull]

Good stuff GG, did you mention that you were going to do the Newport one as well as you are familiar with things down there? I'll be back for the York home thread then.

I was going to ask you on FB how you were doing as we've not heard from you for a bit. Hope things are ok.

Just to mention SUPER early that i'll be at this game, my first home game of the season and can't wait.

[Glostergull]

Yes I have done a recitation on Newport too. it comes with the squits. That's the effect Newport has on one.

[Glostergull]

report is up

[AustrianAndyGull]

Why does it cost £116.50 to get the train from Chesterfield to Torquay on Saturday? Why is it so high? What competition is public transport against taking your car? Plus I have to change once en route both ways. A joke.

[The Farmers Friend]

There have been a few notables who came from Cheltenham in past years.
But Cheltenham is not so famous for producing footballers. Much better in the Arts and media though.
Gustav Holst leads the way really. Composer of the wonderful planets suite. Ralph Richardson the Actor. Kate Thornton. (is this one for The Boilers thread boys). Richard O'Brien of the Rocky Horror Show. Arthur Negus. (For the oldies who remember the Antiques roadshow. No not us antiquties). Mark Lester. Again one for the Oldies who remember the film Oliver Twist. E were Oliver E were. Robert Ardy of Vetinary Fame. Eh by Gum! I have been reliably informed that one Mike Grady came from there too. ( Got a feeling he was in last of the Summer Wine. As well as Corrie)

Brian Jones of the Rolling Stones and Brian Eno too. You don't have to have a Brian/Brien in your name, but clearly it helps...

[Plymouth Gull]

Is this our next game?!

[AustrianAndyGull]

Yes Nick, next Saturday.

[AlexGulls]

We wont score. And if Nico plays then McGlashan will have a field day against him. Away win purely because they have goalscorers and we don't.

[AustrianAndyGull]

If our predictions turn out to be true Alex ( you think we'll lose Saturday and I think we'll get battered at Newport) then the York game becomes a very big one. How sad is that and how bad is that?!

I don't think we'll lose this game but only because Cheltenham are not what they used to be and not because we will suddenly become good overnight. They still have some useful players but I reckon it has got score draw written all over it. We'll lose heavily at Newport IMO.

[AlexGulls]

If our predictions turn out to be true Alex ( you think we'll lose Saturday and I think we'll get battered at Newport) then the York game becomes a very big one. How sad is that and how bad is that?!

I don't think we'll lose this game but only because Cheltenham are not what they used to be and not because we will suddenly become good overnight. They still have some useful players but I reckon it has got score draw written all over it. We'll lose heavily at Newport IMO.

Well everything is all doom and gloom at the moment round here. I'm hoping to be proved wrong but if we persist with the same team then its probably only going to be the same as usual. I agree with what your saying about Cheltenham. The difference is they have goal scorers and we struggle in that department.

[PlainmoorRoar]

I'd go for;

Rice
Tonge Downes Pearce Cruise
Mansell Craig Harding
Chappell Hawley Bodin

Nicho CANNOT play this game with GM he will cost us if this happen

[AustrianAndyGull]

That's actually not a bad line up PR. I did look at some stats for Knill and for a period of time at Scunny he adopted a 4-3-3 system and had a bit of success. His stats say he is pretty much obsessed with 4-4-2 but like I said, he had a brief window at Scunny where he opted for consistent 4-3-3 and he did well.

This line up gives us some creativity in the middle with Craig, Mansell and Harding doing the donkey work and Chappell and Bodin more advanced to hopefully cause problems and get some service to Hawley. If Ball plays i'll be spitting the dummy out again. Hawley is a powerful unit and he can offer us exactly what Ball does and more so we don't need the both of them up there.

I'm liking that formation a lot PR.

[ferrarilover]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels the way we do about Nico and Jermaine McGlashan, although I would like to claim the original copyright for the thought... :rules:

I'm not in the 'worried about Knill' camp, but that might change if he plays the same starting XI on Saturday. That will demonstrate absolutely that Knill simply does not learn from experience. He spent an hour watching a pacy right winger create dozens of chances at Northampton. If he doesn't recognise that this is precisely what will happen on Saturday, then I will be deeply concerned, regardless of the result.

Matt.

[PlainmoorRoar]

It makes sense, gives you a little more cover defensively with a more compact midfield, but you gain creativity from Craig,

Chappell and bodin are playing the best out wide at the moment and Hawley needs some service,


FL you can have it but i remember the game vs them last year and the TV games from the playoff semi finals when Ling was in charge, Nicho got torn to shreds