It's a long way home from York..

[bengull]

The journey home from York was a long and painful one. Parking problems meant we could not leave Bootham Crescent until 10pm, roadwork problems meant I did not get home until 6am. That 8 hours gave me ample time to try and sum up the feelings of resignation, despair, dejection and utter horror that have incrementally been getting more potent over the last 18 months.

Martin Ling earned the right to be cut a bit of slack during his second season. When he walked in through the door late in the summer of 2011 no-one gave him a prayer, he was ridiculed, labelled the cheap option and derided as a poor choice. Had it not been for a last minute Crewe equaliser chances are we would have been promoted automatically- a minor miracle considering the situation he inherited and the limited squad he utilised all season.

The following season Martin sold several key players and raised 500k in the process, money which, at no point, was he allowed to use to replace those he had sold (apart from 20k towards Bodin.) Regardless, I remember remarking at the time that the first two home matches of the season (Cheltenham and Rochdale) were amongst the best I had ever seen in terms of quality and excitement and that Martin Ling's greatest qualities lay in building a team ethic, a team spirit regardless of how limited his resources might be.

As the season wore on, injuries began to take their toll, Martin's approach of trying "trying not to lose" was starting to irritate those who prefer the "all out for a win" approach and the first few words of discontent started to find their way from Bristow's Bench insidiously into the head of a manager who still had us in and around the play-offs. As I said, considering his first season, I believed he deserved some slack. Many believe the biggest cracks appeared in defeat to Harrogate, a poor result no doubt, but lets not forget that we missed a hatful of chances in that game. 'The club does not budget for cup runs' we were told in the aftermath, so surely no problem?

Into the busy Christmas schedule and Ling was without Morris, Macklin, Lathrope, Jarvis, Mansell was suspended, Howe walking a continual disciplinary tightrope, Saah would get sent off at Bradford. Still Torquay remained in the top half, Martin Ling needed reinforcements, he was told the money wasn't there. Money, which had instead been spent on a Grandstand that would have serious ramifications on pitch drainage and a training ground that we still haven't used to this day. As the results started to take a turn for the worse, the voices of discontent grew louder. I have no idea how Martin's stress related illness manifested itself, it may have had nothing to do with TUFC or football at all, but clearly these circumstances weren't helping. People might suggest that Football is a harsh environment and you need a strong spine to bear the brunt of it, I just think people had short memories of what he was capable of. Sometimes certain people need an arm round their shoulder, telling them they are doing alright, Martin did that a lot for his players, I don't think anyone did it enough for him.

People say we were too defensive under Ling, that our football was boring to watch, I disagree. A system hinging on retaining and keeping possession is always going to bear more fruit and create more chances than a formulaic strategy of continually hitting the wings or hitting it long. Our problem was not converting the 2 or 3 golden chances we created when in the ascendency and then being hit by a sucker punch by a team chucking everything at us in the last 10 minutes. The main problem being that Martin Ling was not given enough funding to fully replace his two star turns; Olejnik and O'Kane.

Alan Knill offered his services to a team in free-fall, a team without their leader, with no structure to its day to day functioning. I felt sorry for Sean Taylor who was so far out of his depth, after the Aldershot match I think any appointment would have been a step in the right direction. As interim manager Mr Knill did enough. His signing of Labadie was inspired, and Chappel also made a difference in a couple of home games. We won a few games, but some of the defeats were as bad as, if not worse, than any that had preceded it. The recalls of Labadie and Chappel were hammer blows at the time, but the seven crucial points Mr Knill accrued in the last 3 games of the season were achieved with a team fully of Martin Ling's making.

The outpouring of relief of another great escape, coupled with the goodwill of a manager working only on expenses for built a groundswell of momentum pushing Mr Knill firmly into the limelight. Not only was he the favourite man for the manager's seat, it would also appear that he was the only man for the hot-seat, as far as I am aware there was no interview process offered to any other candidate. The way the managerial change happened still leaves a bad taste in my mouth to this day. Its not the sort of way businesses should operate in my opinion. Some will say that there was no way that Martin Ling could have come back given many thought of him as mentally fragile, but I would still suggest that his first season earned him the right of a second chance. The other argument being, as we've starkly learnt twice now, that, if you can afford to pay off his contract, you could have afforded him the transfer fees he needed to improve his squad.

No matter how it was deduced, or by whom, the decision was made that Alan Knill would take over and as manager of my football team he would get my full support. We draw a line under season 2012/13, we move on and we are promised it won't happen again.

Pre-season is always an interesting time, players come and players go. There is conjecture on forums on who is good, who is not, who is better than who. It is all opinion and no-one can really judge until we see them in the flesh. Alan Knill's football philosophy appears solid, sound. We will play with an antiquated 4-4-2 with two exciting wide men, two top signings up front. We have chased Karl Hawley all summer, Mr Knill's no.1 target and he is delighted to have him. Krystian Pearce is a coup for this club, we have beaten a number of clubs to his signature. Ashley 'best finisher at the club' Yeoman has built on his goal of the year against Morecambe with more goals in pre-season, this surely, will be his year.

We open our season with an unconvincing draw against Wimbledon, equalising in the last minute courtesy from an Aaron Downes header from a precise Nial Thompson cross. Some forum members are derided for their opinion that this team will struggle to score goals. I am one who chooses to ignore this surely premature observation and see enough during a stirring second half performance against Morecambe to suggest that given a bit of time this team is showing nascent signs of quality.

We secure our first win of the season in our next away match at Sixfields. We are battered for 60 minutes but turn on the quality for 15 minutes. That 15 minutes is really rather good, excellent in fact and if we can reproduce that intensity, incisiveness and speed on the break then we will be fine this season. The trouble is that we haven't. That 15 minutes has been the pinnacle of our play all season, Jordan Chapell showed the goal-scoring desire and calmness to finish in front of goal that day that our strikers have, to a man, failed to show. We have since shown some decent play to create chances, but have had no-one anticipating the final ball, no-one to finish them off. Take out the 4-2 win against Cheltenham (gifted first two goals) and our goal-scoring return at Plainmoor in the first half of the season has been pitiful.

Mr Knill said he would use the first ten matches to judge the standard of his squad. He can't have been too impressed with what he had assembled because we began to see the rotating door policy at TQ1 in full swing with loan signings coming and going by the week. I have nothing against a loan signing or two to bolster resources but when you have 4 or 5 of them in your starting XI I believe you need start having serious reservations about the quality of the manager's recruitment in the summer. Rumours were abound that his promised budget had been drastically cut, and if that being the case then he has cause for sympathy, but if nothing is made public then I am afraid the manager is the man in the firing line.

Mr Ling set his team out defensively in order not to lose, to get to 70 minutes and not be losing, to still be in the game, still have a chance of nicking it. By and large, Mr Ling's defensive record as boss was very good, Mr Knill's sadly was quite the opposite. Continual individual calamities led to goals conceded, matches against Fleetwood, Rochdale, Burton and Scunthorpe we were outplayed and offered little by way of opposition. At Wycombe and Accrington we turned winning positions into losing results thanks to sloppy mistakes. At Newport and Wycombe, the manager's transfer policies were once again called into question with makeshift backlines including Krystian Pearce who played through a serious health scare. A win at Bury was a rare bright spot, we showed resilience in the face of horrific weather conditions, we won the match but it was still unconvincing.

By now it was obvious that we would be embroiled in another relegation scrap. Players who had been signed with big reputations had been replaced by rookie loanees, players who had played a big part in last season's survival had been jettisoned out on loan. Crowds at Plainmoor were dropping to a new low since we returned to the football league. Our plight was summed up when a speculative 30 yard strike for Nathan Craig (in a rare cameo appearance) was routinely fielded by a goalkeeper and the whole of Plainmoor, in unison, erupted like we had just sealed promotion, basking in the joy of seeing a shot on target in 170 minutes of football. Off the field events were starting to stir derision too, an air raid siren being played at the match nearest to remembrance day reeked of poor decision making, it was enough for the matchday announcer to resign in protest. The insistence of the police of a 'Big 5' ticket scheme did little to help dwindling crowds either, attendances against those "big 5" have all been pathetic and a fraction of what we could have otherwise expected had it not been for outside interference. Nothing was going for us this season.

During the long journey home from Scunthorpe I was dejected, I could see nothing but relegation under Alan Knill. I know no-one sets out to gets a team relegated or perform badly, and at our financially stricken club managers will often have to operate with one or both hands tied behind their back, but not only were the results not good enough, but the performances failed to meet the standard too. Too many players, it became apparent, had lost faith in his methods, those he had brought in during the summer had underperformed or been replaced, others were still on loan. You can normally gauge a season by the number of players used. Our squad was on the large side. I was resigned to relegation, I did not join in the insult-slinging in the Glanford away end, its not generally my style, but I couldn't criticise those that did. I was told that we couldn't afford to sack Mr Knill so I just got on with turning up to matches and just hoped he would find a formula that worked.

Gritty wins against Southend and Dagenham appeared to show the first signs of recovery. Both carried a hint of luck and could have gone either way but, crucially, 6 points made our situation seem a lot better, and in Marquis, now leading the line in a throwback to Martin Ling's 4-5-1 formation, we had a striker who finally was both a focal point to our attack, and a decent finisher. Sadly Marquis got injured in our very next game and as is so often the case those little things turn into big ravenous problems. Those Bristol and Exeter games back to back can be summed up by a tale of two penalties: Marquis sends the Rovers keeper the wrong way as cool as you like, Hawley steps up against Exeter and I feared the worst. I turned to my brother (an exile seeing his first game in two years) and said 'he'll miss this' and sure enough he makes it far too easy for the keeper to save. Had we scored that goal it may have been different, as it was those huge gaping defensive errors came creeping back in again and Exeter won at a canter in the end.

If there's a bona-fide way of turning the crowd against you it is losing local derbies. The Exeter match was unfortunate as we did dominate for long periods, but again fell foul of not being able to score in a million years, the match at Argyle sadly fell into the abject surrender category with catastrophic errors at the back once again being the architects of the downfall. Those two results sadly were always going to supersede the achievement of the 7 points gained directly before them and walking out of a poisonous away end on new years day the writing was on the wall. His interview on the radio surmised a man defeated by the limitations of managing Torquay United. A man who had tried his best but it hadn't worked out for him. The lackadaisical performance on the pitch illustrated a lack of understanding towards the manager's methods, a lot of those players however, also looked like they had zero morale or confidence.

It was no surprise when Mr Knill parted company with the club the following day. It is never nice to see a man lose his job but in the immediate aftermath of his removal it felt like a dark cloud was being lifted from over Plainmoor. Again, one can argue that if the money is there to pay off one coaching staff's contracts and then install another, surely you would be better off giving the manager said cash to spend on the team. I happen to think though that the feeling of despondency and fan vote of 'no confidence' after the defeat at Home Park was insurmountable and maybe even his poor recruitment in the summer had worked against him.

Whilst a thorough recruitment process was underway Geoff Harrop was put in temporary charge and proceeded to treat the home fans to the best performance of the season. He recalled those cast out on loan and went back to basics. The re-signing of Joss Labadie, so instrumental in last year's escape bid added to the feel good factor, But for a wonder goal from a bloke who will never do it again, it would have been a very welcome three points. I must admit I was a little surprised by the appointment of Chris Hargreaves given his experience but was won over almost immediately by a consummate and professional performance at Wimbledon. That day felt like the start of a new season and a taste of things to come. What he lacked in experience I thought he might be able to replace in sheer inspiration of being a contemporary Torquay United playing legend. Few who were present that day could forecast the troubles to come.

The English weather put paid to our next few home games, drainage having been compromised since Bristow's Bench was built. Crucially this postponed our home match against a ,then manager-less, Northampton side, we were unable to build on the positive atmosphere and momentum built by Chris' first win and indeed had to wait two weeks between matches. A win at Portsmouth again added to Hargreaves' credentials at being able to inspire and instil a strong team spirit and at this point it was hard to see how the bottom could fall out. But it could.

The defeat against bottom side Northampton was a foreshadowing of what was to come. A battered Plainmoor pitch was not conducive to good football and Northampton played the conditions better racing into a 2 goal lead, albeit with a bit of luck after decapitating Billy Bodin (in high spirits after a goal in the previous game) in the process and getting away with it. Some will look at the psychological element of Alan Knill getting the upper hand over the club who had sacked him, in my opinion we lost to a desperately poor footballing outfit and as that was the first that many at Plainmoor will have seen of Hargreaves and TUFC mach 2, it would have been very hard to gain any momentum from there on in.

Still more matches were falling foul of the relentless winter rain, meanwhile other clubs were picking up points and starting to build a gap between us and safety. It was at this point that the rotating door policy was in full swing on the team bus, on the dressing room door and at reception, sadly the budget in Hargreaves' war-chest only stretched as far as rookie loanees, some got on the field for 10 minutes, some didn't even make the bench. None, if we're being honest were what we needed at the time and the first signs of Hargreaves' immaturity as a football league manager were starting to show. It is not Hargreaves' fault, I maintain that even up to now, he was thrust into a difficult, near impossible, situation and has show he hasn't the experience or contacts needed to sort this mess out. An older head, either as boss or as an advisor, was needed and I have been as guilty as anyone else for naively believing that Chris Hargreaves could keep us up on inspiration, enthusiasm and love for the club alone.

Chesterfield away, and many predicted a complete shellacking, the truth was that we were comfortably and justifiably leading the match 1-0 and then bad fortune reared its ugly head. Poke makes a one in a million mistake and that's another 3 points we throw down the drain. We later find that Joss Labadie has been accused of biting and treat it as a but of a laugh due to the lack of concrete evidence. In hindsight though its no laughing matter regardless of how the disciplinary panel came to their conclusion. Biting is wrong and disgusting and reeks of a player suffering with ill-discipline. Whatever motivated him to even square up to the player in the first place we might never find out, it could have been borne out of a number of frustrations building up inside a struggling player playing in a struggling team, we'll never know. And we're still none the wiser why we're paying him a wage whilst he's suspended for 10 matches for a moment of madness he had no need to get involved with.

I thought the confidence we could take from the performance would see us in good stead but sadly it was the Accrington match that followed that broke the camel's back for me. You will not see a poorer representation of a professional football team than the Accrington team that took to that pitch, and we rolled over and let them have the 3 points having negated to pose anything by way of a meaningful goal threat for 90% of the match. For 15 minutes solid we had them camped in their defensive third and we still did not have the nous or wherewithal to create a goal-scoring chance. The effort could not be faulted, we just did not possess the quality to unlock a very poor side. It has been the story for the majority of the season. There are, perhaps generously, 3 decent sides in this division, and the rest are a much of a muchness, ranging from average to poor. The fact that we're bottom of that lot says it all. Recent defeats to Fleetwood, Newport and I am reliably told also at Cheltenham all continue this formula, lots of effort and bluster, no meaningful chances created, no goals scored, waiting for the ensuing defensive calamity and hey presto, another defeat.

After the Accrington game I promised myself to remove the emotional aspect of watching Torquay matches, and so I have. In the 5 home matches since, I have stood on my usual step, the same as the last 15 years, and remained ambivalent to proceedings. Not got excited when we score, not got upset when we concede. Perhaps some call it going through the motions, but I prefer not getting my hopes up. I turn up, laugh at the calamities and absurdities that only league two football can provide and then I go home and try largely to forget about it. The only time I broke emotion was when Ashley Yeoman scored the last minute winner. I have been championing him all season and whilst 1 goal is not a vindication for automatic starting place from beginning of the season all the way through, his poaching instinct can not be questioned. He might not have made as much of a difference as I believe he would, but having spent most of the season elsewhere, and lower down the pecking order than any number of youth loanees you care to mention we will never find out.

The 2 recent home wins were nice little reminders of what winning felt like, but to me that's all I could allow them to be. There's nothing worse than getting your hopes up only to have them drowned a little further down the line. Both those winning goals had their own elements of luck to them any how, and i am not totally sure whether either victory was merited, we played well in stages but not for long enough. I guess nothing makes sense to me at the moment when trying to work out whether the league table is genuinely based on merit this season.

Entering the Newport match you could say I had a tiny bit of hope following the Bury win. This was extinguished straight away when Zebroski scored and misery compounded with Goodwin shown his marching orders minutes later. I still can't decide whether it was merited, i am not entirely sure it's worth worrying about at this stage, it was inconsequential. Goodwin is a young lad trying his best for us in the absence of senior professionals of the required standard, he can not be blamed for jumping in in a way that demonstrates his lack of experience at professional level. We would have struggled to have scored with 11 men, the continually enigmatic and half fit Bodin puts in the best cross of the season at the last minute and the ball is headed at the only place where the goalkeeper can save it. It just about summed our season up.

And so to York. When the fixtures were released I said I had to do this fixture, solely because it was such a ridiculous proposition. My desire to see through this arrangement has waned somewhat the nearer we got to it, but even so it would be memorable either way. Team line-up was the first surprise, Thompson in for a start despite not getting a game at Worcester? Keeping Chapell at home in the process? Nothing really makes sense to me at the moment and really emphasises a manager who has little or no faith in the majority of his resources. Once again the early goal killed us really. Bit of slack play led to our downfall, seen it all before. Lots of possession thereafter but no penetration and no guilt edged chances, no one taking the game by the scruff of the neck and having a shot from 25 yards. Wide open spaces at the back on the counter attack that better teams would exploit. All the hall-marks of the season there in one 90 minute microcosm, its just a shame that microcosm is 300 miles from home. There was no vitriol from those that travelled, everyone knew.

The match finishes and the players come over and offer extended thanks for our efforts. It was quite strange actually, they just kept on clapping as if to say 'sorry for being so crap' or maybe 'what the hell are you doing here?' I look around me on the minibus and everyone knows, everyone is resigned to what will surely happen in the coming weeks. These are all decent people, all dedicated fans, there is no anger or resentment for what they have been put through, just despair and disappointment. Travelling is not compulsory, you don't get a medal for doing so, you do it through love for the club and with good intentions. It just hurts so much when what you have gone to support has been a let down.

Today's developments have continued to astound the punters. I haven't commented on here about Enoch Showumni, but within 5 minutes of his home debut I said he was terrible, atrocious. He has done nothing to dissuade me from my original thinking since and can trap the ball further than I can pass it. It is confusing that after such a fanfare was made of his arrival that we just let him go without a whimper and that we still don't try and replace him with a striker. In his 5 games he has scored precisely 0 goals and led to the creation of precisely 0 goals, and that is the crux of the matter. 'Enoch has signed, there is some hope' turns out, as many predicted, that he wasn't the much lauded saviour and he has actually done worse than the other 200 strikers also tried out in our team this season. Argyle have shown the merit of pushing the boat out and signing a centre forward with proper pedigree, take out Reid's goals and Argyle are an abject embarrassment to football and would be 5 points worse off than us.

That we haven't pooled all our resources throughout the campaign and concentrated on recruiting a man guaranteed to knock in 20 goals this season is the underlying reason why we are going down this year. If you can get a consistent starting XI with a focal point of a striker who you can rely on to find the net on a regular basis then you generally will do ok. That we have used upwards of 40 players this season and our top scorer with 5 has neither scored since October, nor played since January speaks volumes for the plight we're in.

We have however signed a new left back, bit inexperienced mind you, and he is a bit injured, but apart from that he'll be ready to go, just hope we haven't lost two more matches by then. The club should be busting a gut to avoid relegation, if you're going to announce that season tickets for next season are going to be the same price and offering 'fantastic value' then you owe it those people to ensure the level of football they will be watching next season is worth shelling out for by doing whatever you can to avoid the drop. Other clubs are signing decent options, we simply, are not. I don't want to bash the new lad, it won't be his fault and i'll clap him onto the pitch but I am almost entirely sure he is not the answer to our problems.

I am not going to Southend, It will be the first match I have missed by choice for 3 seasons, I can not justify spending the money on the day out, and I will be working on Saturday to recoup the money I wasted by going to York. I can not bring myself to go to Exeter or Bristol for fear of them having a field day sending us down. I am normally more positive than this but all the thrust and vim has been sucked out of me by a disastrous 18 months on and off the field.

Some of the decision making has been akin to the chaotic Roberts/Kubik reign. You could justify how poor we were by the fact that Roberts was a charlatan hell bent on asset stripping us for his own financial gain, the rot he left us in could not be turned round. The consortium are fans, with the fan's interests at heart, or so we are told. I am sure there are some genuine, honest, hard-working people on our board, but I am equally sure there are parasites and malingerers too. Stories of power struggles and lack of investment do little to arrest the fears of fans that their club might not be in safe hands. Whilst I do not believe dirty laundry should be aired to the fans, I do think we have a right to a united boardroom pulling in the right direction. So many rumours fly about concerning who is accountable for what decision.

The board deserve immense credit for saving the club in the first instance, by making smart decisions that not only gave us our football league status back but saw us battling at the right end of the league within two years after promotion. It seems since then there has been a lot of backslapping and high-fives of a job well done, but also a period of stagnation. We might not ever know who truly is to blame for the malaise we are in, maybe that is for the best. It is just a damn shame that all that hard work and good feeling has been undone in a crazy 18 months were the wheels have fallen off. New investment appears to have dried up, board member's appearance at matches dwindling by the week, fans generally left in the dark at what is going on. In that time attendances have plummeted, and the removal of two experienced football managers at great cost has now seen us careering head first back to the non-league. I do not blame Hargreaves, he can only truly be rated on how he goes about a difficult job next season. The rot had well and truly manifested itself before he joined the asylum.

I will not be getting a season ticket next season, not even in the extremely unlikely event that we pull off the greatest of great escapes. I am fully expecting to be a conference team next season, and I don't think the club deserves my finance throughout the summer as they did not use my same finance very wisely last season. I can take being a conference club, its a bit crap, but I can take losing, that's not a problem. The manner in which we have imploded is the cause of my ambivalence for next season. I can pick but only a handful of decent memories from the last 18 months, far too few when you give up the majority of your time to the club you love.

The club needs a massive overhaul next season, cut out the deadwood at every level. We need to take a long hard look at ourselves and decide what we want to be, if we really want to be a professional league outfit again then we have to take harsh but strong steps in the right direction. We need a definite leader, not only of the team, but of the club at board level. There have been far too many people taking advantage of TUFC's good nature. Its about time we removed sentiment, made some hard decisions and drag the club from the doldrums back to where I believe we genuinely belong: a properly functioning league two outfit.

I will be around next season, its the only way I know how, I imagine i'll go to a fair few away games, new places to visit, and attend a fair few home games too. I've been trapped inside a TUFC bubble nonstop for 4 seasons now and these last 18 months have taken their toll on me. Its time I get out of that bubble for a while and see what else there is on the outside. But don't worry, i'll be back. I love TUFC and always will, I just don't like them at the moment.



(if anyone actually read all that, I salute you)

[njgull]

I read all that. As miserable as I feel listening to these games I can't even begin to imagine how agonizing this is for those of you who go there week after week and have lived and died with the club all these years. You deserve so much better.

[HeavenAndHele]

I read all that. As miserable as I feel listening to these games I can't even begin to imagine how agonizing this is for those of you who go there week after week and have lived and died with the club all these years. You deserve so much better.

Agreed, I probably only make it to a dozen games a season so I take my hat off to those of you who put in the time and money to go to every match and follow the club up and down the country.

[Scott Brehaut]

I read it all too.

I'd love to print that out and wave it in front of the directors noses. Yes, they've lost money too (some a lot more than others) but season ticket holders like Ben (and many others) are the life blood of the club - to lose people like Ben should be sounding alarm bells throughout the boardroom.

Alas, the seeming incompetence of those on charge suggests that they are willing to bury their heads in the sand and hope it'll be alright on the night.

I really do fear for the future of the club - we need money, desperately, yet offer nothing, no incentive on the pitch (or off it) to encourage people to part with their cash. If it continues in this way, with no other person behind the scenes able/willing to support the club financially, and with fewer fans coming through the gates....well, it's not difficult to realise what could/will happen.

[gullintwoplaces]

Ben, that is one the best, most rational posts that I have read on here. It doesn't make me feel better, but what you say is spot on. I also fear for the future of the club that I love, these days feel darker than those of Roberts and Webb because I don't see things changing.

What you say about Ling is heartfelt and I agree with you. I would add to the list of causes of our woes the wan*ers who helped drive Martin Ling to despair. I particularly remember the idiot on Bristow's Bench who really upset Martin at a game shortly before he went off sick, hope you are proud of yourself you piece of dirt.

[MidDevon]

Very good post

I think there were 3 other turning points for the season

Firstly, does eveyone remember the frustration pre-season with the lack of activity on the transfer market? That frustration was, IMO, down simply to the unattractive club Torquay were to join. Only safe on the last day of 2012-13 and miles from anywhere, with (in all honesty) 2 larger clubs within a few miles playing at the same level. I am pretty convinced that the vast majority of those who signed did so after considerable efforts from their agents to get other clubs interested. It felt very much like Torquay was the last chance of football league for these players.

Secondly, the Accrington away match. Now I was told that a player had refused to travel by a club official. I had no reason to disbelieve this and posted on this forum to see if anyone knew the reasons why. For one of my postings, (which are usually really uninteresting and boring!) all hell broke loose. Something clearly was not right at the club at this time. We never got to the bottom of it. On the pitch at Accrington we were beaten by a team who were fitter, stronger and more determined with an allbeit small crowd fully behind them and it was following that match that I personally felt we were doomed.

Thirdly , as Christmas approached we needed leadership and I believe senior managers at the club had gone away on cricket holiday, whilst you cannot necessarily say that was wrong, it did appear that everyone at the club was waiting for his return to decide the next action....that could tell us a lot about who is pulling the strings and making the decisions.

[taxilady]

So tomorrow, it's looking like Nigel, Breedy, tk & me at Southend; not sure you'll be able to hear the (very small) Yellow Army on your radios...........

[brucie]

Great post and I admire you for your loyalty to the cause. The only observation I would make is that our 4-4-2 system failed miserably.
It was obvious during the first few games that this was the problem. Downes isn't the quickest centre back so to pair him on the left side of the defence with Nicholson was madness. We might as well have fielded a tortoise at left back.
The system was showing its flaws because we had another relatively slow full back on the other side in Tongue.
The only times we have looked anything of a side is when we dispensed with this formation in games such as Hartlepool at home or Morecambe at home under Harrop who seemed to achieve the impossible in one game and transformed a shower of shit into a rock solid looking unit as we at alst showed some potency with Bodin playing in the free role.
I know we didn't win these games but generally outplayed the opposition.
Enter Hargreaves and his one and only plan seems to have been playing the same 4-4-2 which never worked under Knill.

[AustrianAndyGull]

Is that it in a nutshell mate?

Ben, I agree with each and every word and it sums up the way I feel too mate. We both know that you are rational and analytical where I am err, not, :Oops: but I like to think that we are both fair and that report is a fair reflection on how most fans regardless will feel right now. I take you at face value as one of the most pragmatic and sensible people I know when it comes to TUFC (not in other areas though! :~D ) and therefore this post means a lot to me and should to others.

I am very surprised you and Dave forever and others aren't renewing season tickets and that tells it's own story. It's not a case of fans giving up, it's a case of weighing things up and deciding you can't be taken for a **** idiot anymore.

Cracking post Ben. Longer than ANY of mine is this man!!! :na:

See you at Field Mill.

[goodluckgull]

Ben, your posting is very moving and I hope you can find some light refreshing distractions to help you fight off the horrible gloom.

[Glostergull]

By Eckythump Ben. I thought Andy's posts could be long but you take the prize for post of the century by a country mile. even I couldn't manage one that long without looking totaly senile.
was it you stood up behind us when were at Burton. Watching me eating faggots chips and peas. While Lanky gets hauled off to be ticked off for calling their goalkeeper a part of my dinner.

[AustrianAndyGull]

Yes that was he GG.

[Gloomy Gull]

BenGull

That was a fantastic post - thank you for taking the time to appraise the recent past, and probable future, so eloquently.

The only comment that you have made that I feel is generous is : It is not Hargreaves' fault, I maintain that even up to now, he was thrust into a difficult, near impossible, situation and has show he hasn't the experience or contacts needed to sort this mess out.

I find it hard to accept that he is without blame for his predicament. He made comment as a TV pundit that "something needs to change" during the death throes of the Knill era.

He then applied for the role that, he had pointed out, needed a change. IF he failed to carry out sufficient due diligence on that role to satisfy himself of the issues he would likely be facing, he only has himself to blame.

I find it difficult to accept that he has been thrust into a situation without some pre- knowledge, he had discussed the obvious downturn in TUFC fortunes in the media.

I can only deduce that he, possibly with some arrogance, presumed that his status as a club legend would go a long way to protecting him from any vitriol if things turned bad. A dangerous assumption to make in football, and further exposes his naivety.

However, my views on your view of the Hargreaves situation, should not detract from what was a very well crafted post. Again, I thank you for taking the time to gather your thoughts so succinctly and putting them to the written word.

[frenchgull]

Fantastic post Ben,very accurate and very heartfelt.I like you now try to listen to every match without any emotion just expecting the worse but my hat is off to you and all supporters who turn up both home and away because you love Torquay United,what would you give for a true boardroom leader?.

[gateman49]

Bengull

Thanks for a good read, it was painful to work my way through it, not because of the writing style but because of the content, it really felt like reading an obituary.

I've supported TU since the 1950's. My maternal grandfather introduced me and what better person as he had played for Babbacombe which team later merged with Torquay Town to form the United that we follow. So it was in my blood whether I liked it or not.

At my age, I had hopes of seeing out my days watching my club still in the League but what chance of that now? I don't think that there is likely to be a quick fix to the recurrent problems this time and we will languish in the underworld along with all those other ex League sides (14 out of 24 in the Conference premier alone).

In reality, we didn't do too badly in the old days even though to my way of thinking the only time of any consistency was the first O'Farrell era. We seem to have had a precarious existence ever since, lurching from crisis to crisis and, like a cactus, occasionally flowering only to wither away just as quickly. How many times have we been promoted only to fall straight back again (rhetorical one that - don't bother to look it up as it hurts just to think about it).

Mostly now, I'm reminded of Michael Palin's Barstonworth Ripping Yarn, we seem to be becoming a poor copy.

Ah well, I won't stop attending if only because I want to take my grandson along one day soon just as my grandfather did for me all those years ago....
...and there is always the next match!