FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

[Gullscorer]

A sad face for number 5 and happy face for number 8. Just about sums you up.

You might be hilarious if you were not incapable of presenting anything more than the pathetically inaccurate and churlishly ignorant response you've just posted.

[Trojan 67]

As it gets nearer voting day for the Jimmys,what follows is more than a joke

Alex Salmond's colleagues decided it would be a worthy gesture to name a railway locomotive after him. So an official went to the National Railway Museum at York, to investigate the possibilities.

'There are a number of locomotives at the NRM without names,' a consultant told the official, 'but they are mostly freight locomotives.'

'Oh dear, a freight locomotive isn't very fitting for a party leader ,how about that big green one, over there?' he asked, pointing to the 'Flying Scotsman'.

'That one has already got a name,' said the consultant. 'It's called 'Flying Scotsman'.'

'Couldn't we rename it?' asked the official.

'I suppose for Alex Salmond it might be considered,' said the consultant.

'That's excellent,' said the official, 'so that's settled then. Let's look at re-naming the 'Flying Scotsman'. How much will it cost? Remember we can't spend too much, given the expenses scandal.'

'Well,' said the consultant, 'Why don't we just paint out the F ?'

[Trojan 67]

I thought it was great back in the day :


More piss watter :



Piss watter lager :



I wish I had a walk in fridge :


<!> chills

[chunkygull]

Go on George, tell em how it is!

[youtube]hXPyotfcF08[/youtube]

[Gullscorer]

Q: What is the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?

A: You can't make a vitamin..

[chunkygull]

THE BEST opening one liner of any stand up EVER, about 55 seconds in -

(WARNING - EXPLICIT CONTENT)

[youtube]ScWDC0dZ-NQ[/youtube]

You might appreciate the title Gullscorer :~D

[Gullscorer]

I am pro-life, and anti-feminist, not anti-woman. Big difference! And I love Clare Balding..

[ferrarilover]

Being pro-life is being anti-women. Women are absolutely free to choose what to do with their bodies, up to and including very nearly the most dangerous, painful and life-changing thing imaginable.
To foister children upon unwilling parents would lead to a huge increase in the number of neglected, abused or murdered children. To dispose of a foetus is infinitely more humane than subjecting both parent and child to a relationship in which no party is happy.

The pro-life argument makes absolutely no sense. We euthanise animals. In some cases we euthanise people. We, as the most intelligent beings, bear huge responsibility and equally huge power. That we have harnessed that power to facilitate abortion is just one among a great many achievements of the human race. We have a commensurate responsibility to use that power appropriately. In the case of aborting unwanted children, we do so using sound judgement and knowledge gained from many years of research.

To have the ability to prevent the birth of a child which the State knows is not wanted is not a weapon to be wielded lightly, but it is one which we must use where appropriate.

Matt.

I'm going to make a prediction and say that I only think that because of feminists, because obviously, I'm incapable of forming my own opinion.

[Gullscorer]

If only life was that simple. In trying to post a humorous response to Chunkygull, I also made it a facile one. I actually agree with you to some extent, Matt, but your argument is also flawed because it does not address all the associated issues.

However, before I go any further, it must be said that this is the wrong thread to argue the topic. Before the word 'funny' was added twice more to the title of the thread, I was chided by certain people for adding posts/videos they deemed to be not funny, even (heaven forbid) anti-feminist. Your post is obviously not funny, Matt, even though it's a topic worthy of discussion.

I would only point out that if you do not express an opinion it's not because you are incapable of forming one, but more likely that you have been pressured by the prevailing culture, which in turn has been heavily influenced by ideological feminism, into exercising a degree of self-censorship.

[Glostergull]

Hey guys. is this something funny or hilarious. or in any way to do with the subject of this forum thread. I doubt it, can we get back to jokes. videos and you tube funnies please

[cambgull]

Here's one for GS:

[Gullscorer]

[quote="cambgull"]Here's one for GS:


=D

Yep, modern radical ideological feminism = totalitarian Fascism/Communism. Hilarious..

Read this: http://fathersforlife.org/feminism/hubbard1.htm

[Gullscorer]

A man received the following text from his neighbour:

I'm so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife day and night when you're not around. In fact more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.

The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun and, without a word, shot his wife.

A few moments later a second text came in:

Whoops! Damned auto-correct. I meant "wifi", not "wife". Sorry Bob!

[chunkygull]

THE BEST opening one liner of any stand up EVER, about 55 seconds in -

(WARNING - EXPLICIT CONTENT)

[youtube]ScWDC0dZ-NQ[/youtube]

You might appreciate the title Gullscorer :~D

Fellas, fellas, fellas, the reason I posted this clip wasnt about the pro life debate, it was just to draw attention to the genius of the legend that was/is George Carlin and his entertaining, intelligent, thought provoking and informative musings about various topics that effect us inhabitants of planet Earth. Main point of the clip is the opening line which many of Carlins peers said was the greatest opening line of a stand up.

The pro life debate is a very important cause for thought, so it might be a good topic for a thread, I wonder if there is a certain someone who might want to do that.

[Gullscorer]

Er, Ann Widdicombe..??


Sorry, wrong thread. Meant to put this on Borderline Boilers..