Fairhurst Gone

[Neal]

Hang on a minute.

Are there seriously people on here that are berating a guy who has left the club due to his two year old daughter passing away?
That's bad enough, but he has also, in the not too distant past, lost THREE other children. It's not surprising that he has left to be with his grieving family.

Also, those that are slating his commitment to the club as he didn't move his family down here. Has anybody stopped to think that maybe his wife/partner was working up north and couldn't simply up sticks and leave, and that it shows more commitment to a club to actually leave your family, including a young child, and move down here, then stick it out even when you are injured, when it would have been much easier to leave and go elsewhere, getting another job and supporting your family there - instead of being stuck on your own down south, nursing an injury.

Don't get me wrong, this is a forum and everybody is entitled to have their opinion, and I'm never going to agree with everything that's written on here - equally not everybody agrees with me, but seriously, there are some responses on this thread that really do make me question the sanity of some posters.

Obviously there are football fans that really put football before everything else, DISGUSTING!

[Chris B]

Scott - my argument would be that a player offered a contract by Torquay will get a deal at a club nearer to home, albeit on less money or in a lower league. If that is more beneficial (financially and emotionally) than moving his family down to Devon, then so be it.

We are more likely to get value out of a player/manager if they live locally, primarily because they will be settled and focused. Just look at the likes of Hargreaves and Mansell as recent examples.

[chardie]

Hang on a minute.

Are there seriously people on here that are berating a guy who has left the club due to his two year old daughter passing away?
That's bad enough, but he has also, in the not too distant past, lost THREE other children. It's not surprising that he has left to be with his grieving family.

Also, those that are slating his commitment to the club as he didn't move his family down here. Has anybody stopped to think that maybe his wife/partner was working up north and couldn't simply up sticks and leave, and that it shows more commitment to a club to actually leave your family, including a young child, and move down here, then stick it out even when you are injured, when it would have been much easier to leave and go elsewhere, getting another job and supporting your family there - instead of being stuck on your own down south, nursing an injury.

Don't get me wrong, this is a forum and everybody is entitled to have their opinion, and I'm never going to agree with everything that's written on here - equally not everybody agrees with me, but seriously, there are some responses on this thread that really do make me question the sanity of some posters.

There are some horrible individuals that post on this site.

[brucie]

I don't think its a case of anyone not having sympathy with the player at all but he is supposed to have been injured all season, and hasn't played a game for us.

It does seem odd that a couple of weeks after leaving us another club is "prepared" to sign him even though he appears to be terminally crocked. I think if he starts turning out for Halifax on a regular basis there are going to be a few "puzzled" Torquay fans.

[ferrarilover]

I totally agree with Lucy and Matt and I do know what it is like to lose a son.

Take time off to grieve, absolutely.
Quit your job? Bizarre.
Sign for another club within a month? Taking the piss.

Can't wait for May.

Sign for another club having been "injured" all season is the only amendment I'd make to this.

We need to separate the issues. For the hard of thinking (and my word aren't you out in force), I am terribly sad that a child has died (if indeed that's the case).

What I'm naffed off about is this bloke alleging that he's so heart broken that the only thing that'll fix his woes is changing employer, all the while taking a big shit all over the club that has done its utmost for him, paying him a good salary and getting nothing back.

It's a bit like these girls who are so distraught about their treatment at the hands of 'an unnamed Premier League star' that the only thing they can do to ease the pain is to sell their story to the Daily Star.

Matt.

[ROADRUNNER]

I DONT BELIEVE THIS CONVERSATION, HE HAS LEFT THE CLUB, HIS DAUGHTER HAS DIED, CUT THE BLOKE SOME SLACK. ITS A **** DISGRACE THAT WE ARE EVEN HAVING THIS CONVERSTAION.
WE NEED TO MOVE ON.

[torq2u]

Well said Roadrunner.

For those of you who missed it, go to

http://www.gonetoosoon.org/memorials/wa ... -fairhurst

and read about the 3 babies they lost during gestation. And think how it must have hit their hopes of having a family in the future.

To lose a 2-year-old on top of this really is a tragedy that I hope none of us have experienced or can understand.

I suggest this thread should now be closed. <3

[Yorkieandy]

Any amount of our sympathy isn't in any way going to help but I do find the whole idea of an 'online memorial' just another example of how technology is allowing people to not in any way value their own privacy. The only people IMO who should be involved in the grieving process and know about the tragic family history of the Fairhurst family are surely family and close friends and not for the entire world to find this stuff out at the drop of a hat. I find this a whole lot more bizarre than quitting your job because of such an event - that I CAN understand.

On the one hand Waide quite rightly doesn't feel it appropriate to disclose details of this harrowing event to the Torquay fans but then on the other is happy to post all the details of family tragedy on these online memorials. If anything is bizarre it's this.

I don't use twitter but quite why i'd take to using it at such a difficult time I don't know. Again though, don't know the circumstances so just an opinion. Rather keep quiet than say 'there are other reasons'. In fact it's twitter, best not using it at all.

Anyway, we can all criticise or not as the case may be but everyone nowadays is fair game for abuse and criticism on the internet and that's because nobody seems to value and respect their own worlds anymore - it's all out there on various platforms for all to view and for anyone to comment on. What people are thinking, what people are feeling, who they find attractive, who they criticise, what they ate, who died, who is ill, what they do for a living, where they like to go for entertainment, everything. It's all there. The world has become one big bubble where you can find out in seconds where someone works, where they went to school, who their circle of friends are, what their kids look like (I find this truly scary that parents are happy to do this in this day and age).

There is no mystery any more or distance between people.

As I posted before in a deleted message, footballers DO NOT give a damn about their football clubs in this day and age and whilst I didn't claim this was the reason behind Waide's departure I said that fans should stop moaning about players sitting on ther arses, not putting a shift in, harking on about the way the club has backed them etc, this that and the other because it's all a waste of breath. Footballers in 2016 don't care one bit about the club they play for or their fans. The sooner everyone excepts that the easier it will be to deal with and then fans won't get so aggrieved and angry about it.

Perhaps in Waide's case he maybe didn't think it through properly the move to Torquay in the first instance and just went for it but in the back of his mind he was always aware that it wasn't right regardless of the sad passing of his daughter. I think we've all done that at one time or another otherwise we'd have never changed our minds in our whole lives.

[RussianGull]

Put yourselves into Waide's position, would you want people posting all of this private information about you online? Digging up the Fairhurst family past is repugnant, this thread should be locked and deleted. Leave this poor man alone and get back to posting about the one thing we're here for - Torquay United Football Club.

All the best to the Fairhurst family.

[gullintwoplaces]

I think that people are letting their frustrations get the better of them. The club has made some crap decisions over this and the past few seasons, some utterly incomprehensible & idiotic decisions, but letting a player whose child has died leave the club to go home is not one of them. Let it go now.

[Yorkieandy]

Agree

Apologies for my post. It was more a Gullscorer-esque rant about my personal crusade - trying to find out why seemingly sensible people want their whole lives played out for others for to see on the internet and I guess the growth of 'online memorials' is just another expansion of this which i'm learning about and trying to understand. Technology and our relationship with it these past 10 years has basically left me extremely confused but i'm nobody to criticise, others can do what they want or see fit but regardless i'd like to think that most people would find this whole situation a tragedy and wish them all the best like Russian says.

Added in 4 minutes 58 seconds:
On the Halifax forum someone said with sarcasm in mind no doubt that you were 'a sympathetic lot'.

I think everyone should be proud of the way they helped rally round for that little lad who was ill, I think his name was Ollie and that this is the true nature of the majority of Torquay supporters.

[torq2u]

FFS! Criticised for not being transparent and explaining things, criticised for choosing to use social media in this way. What do people want FFS???

The internet exists, so why not use if if THEY choose to do so. I might not do so in their situation. How the hell would I know what I would do in THEIR situation. People do all kinds of things when they grieve, so FFS let them do what they feel they need to do without criticising them. FFS.

[Dave]

That's the whole thing about the internet and the fact it's world wide, there is social media and forums covering just about every topic we can think of, forums exist for people to share their views and opinions, and all posts should be left for people to view, none deleted unless they're illegal, the same as threads, none should be closed unless they flout the law.

When an individual post is left whether the author is well known or not, the post is there to be judged by everyone across the world reading it, think everyone regardless of what they posted may want to read what they've posted again on this thread, and decide whether they want to retract or apologise for their posting, and there is a small few who I feel do need to apologise for what I view as pretty hurtful stuff posted on here.

Anyone who's lost a relative or a very close personal friend knows how tough that can be, and how everyone deals with their loss in different ways, as I have done with the recent loss of my father, as I prepare with my family for his funeral later this week. But I can't even begin to imagine how I or anyone can deal with the loss of child, I don't think the loss of a parent, sibling, friend even comes close to the loss of a child, and the distress that would cause someone.

All I can do is pass on my deepest sympathies to Waide Fairhurst and his family, and hope they can come through this difficult time in their lives, and pass on my thanks to all at TUFC for giving their assistance to Waide Fairhurst in not only allowing him to move back home to be with his family, but in a way where he could get a job with another football club.

Sometimes the need of an individual player is much greater than the club, and much greater than football itself, this is one those occasions.

[Mattpuma]

I think if he comes down with Halifax next week we should do a big chant of 'theres only one Waide Fairhurst' to let him know that the right minded fans are thinking of him.

[DevonYellow]

Christ the lads been through a hard time...to massively understate it.

A shame there wasn't a small statement to say what had happened rather than rumours on another forum before it became apparent the extent and nature of his loss.

There but for the grace of God....