Oxford United v Torquay United - 10/11/12

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AustrianAndyGull
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Oxford United v Torquay United - 10/11/12

Post by AustrianAndyGull »

3pm kick of at the Kassam. 3-0 to Oxford.
Strangely enough it was Pope Gregory the 9th inviting me for drinks aboard his steam yacht, the saucy sue currently wintering in montego bay with the England cricket team and the Balanese Goddess of plenty.
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Post by AlexGulls »

This is the worst match thread Ive ever seen. ;-)

Agreed with the scoreline though. Cant see us getting anything here.
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Post by chardie »

austrianandygull wrote:3pm kick of at the Kassam. 3-0 to Oxford.
and Sea Biscuit shot in the Paddock :-o
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Post by Plymouthgull »

Like those above, I think we get well beaten. Without Howe, we have very little chance of scoring - don't buy the argument that Bodin will come good and I can't see Jarvis or Stevens scoring. Last two games point to us having a long and very hard rest of the season unless we bring in a proven goal scorer on loan (if they is one out there).
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Post by AustrianAndyGull »

AlexGulls wrote:This is the worst match thread Ive ever seen. ;-)

Agreed with the scoreline though. Cant see us getting anything here.
As some people didn't appreciate the Barnet thread and couldn't be arsed to trawl through it all then i thought this thread might please them. It's akind of protest if you like. They could have disregarded the story bit and gone straight to the line up and stats if they wished, moaning c*nts. Some people are never happy i suppose. Now the rest of you are missing out, if anyone wishes to do another matchday thread for Oxford then please do so otherwise i'll be back to normal again for the Southend home thread a week saturday.
Strangely enough it was Pope Gregory the 9th inviting me for drinks aboard his steam yacht, the saucy sue currently wintering in montego bay with the England cricket team and the Balanese Goddess of plenty.
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Post by AustrianAndyGull »

I mean i can do the bare facts for you mardy arses or i can try and make it as humourous as i can which is what i try and do. If it makes one person chuckle then i'm happy and i've given them something positive. They're not everyones cup of tea i know but like i said if you just want the line ups and facts/stats about the other team and don't wish to know the ins on outs of the place we are visiting then just ignore the rest and read those bits!
Strangely enough it was Pope Gregory the 9th inviting me for drinks aboard his steam yacht, the saucy sue currently wintering in montego bay with the England cricket team and the Balanese Goddess of plenty.
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Post by LukeGull »

Your match threads are always entertaining, what is there not to like? You cover all the important things while making it hilarious. Keep them going :)
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Post by jonnyfive »

Don't ever stop Andy. The Barnet one was epic.
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Post by AlexGulls »

austrianandygull wrote:
As some people didn't appreciate the Barnet thread and couldn't be arsed to trawl through it all then i thought this thread might please them. It's akind of protest if you like. They could have disregarded the story bit and gone straight to the line up and stats if they wished, moaning c*nts. Some people are never happy i suppose. Now the rest of you are missing out, if anyone wishes to do another matchday thread for Oxford then please do so otherwise i'll be back to normal again for the Southend home thread a week saturday.
Was in jest mate. Your match threads are always a good read.
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Post by HeavenAndHele »

jonnyfive wrote:Don't ever stop Andy. The Barnet one was epic.
Agreed. In the words of someone on the Barnet forum (I was bored, your honour) you should either get out more or you're on drugs.
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Post by AustrianAndyGull »

Cheers all, means a lot. Alex, don't worry about it mate. I got your joke, you're ok son! :-D
Strangely enough it was Pope Gregory the 9th inviting me for drinks aboard his steam yacht, the saucy sue currently wintering in montego bay with the England cricket team and the Balanese Goddess of plenty.
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Post by AustrianAndyGull »

I've just realised Alex that i quoted your post when you said it was the worst thread you'd ever seen. This was done by accident and had no relevance to the post i made directly below it so just ignore it mate.
Strangely enough it was Pope Gregory the 9th inviting me for drinks aboard his steam yacht, the saucy sue currently wintering in montego bay with the England cricket team and the Balanese Goddess of plenty.
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Post by AustrianAndyGull »

Agreed. In the words of someone on the Barnet forum (I was bored, your honour) you should either get out more or you're on drugs.
[/quote]

Funnily enough that is what Scott impied on the prediction league thread! :)

I'd love to get out more but my wing warden won't allow it. ;-)
Strangely enough it was Pope Gregory the 9th inviting me for drinks aboard his steam yacht, the saucy sue currently wintering in montego bay with the England cricket team and the Balanese Goddess of plenty.
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Post by AustrianAndyGull »

You didn't think i was serious about the thread thingy did you? :nod: :slap:

The Gulls journey into Oxfordshire for their league game at the Kassam Stadium on saturday shorn of key players through suspension and injury which will make the ordinarily difficult task of getting a result there verging on the impossible. Goalkeeper Martin Rice will make his football league debut in place of the injured Michael Poke and top scorer Rene Howe is also out due to suspension and he is likely to be replaced by Ryan Jarvis. These enforced changes give Martin an opportunity to throw in some pace and trickery up front in Bodin, Stevens and Thompson and to take the game to the home side, an opportunity which i do hope he will take. Jarvis could be used as the hold up option on his own up front but i believe this tactic would be an immense mistake and we'll end up getting beaten anyway. Oxford themselves are having an unpredictable start to the campaign, lost every league game in september and were on the wrong end of a 3-2 defeat at the Kassam in midweek against the Daggers so why do what we did at Wycombe and give them the tools they need to beat us and make them look like world beaters? Only Lingy can answer that question but one is for sure, Oxford have a stronger squad than Wycombe and far more attacking threat and if we let them dictate the game on that big pitch then we've had it. I don't expect Bodin, Stevens et al to do much tracking back so the rest of the team will be overworked leading to mistakes.

Oxford fans would have hoped for a tilt at promotion this season at least via the play offs and although they aren't a million miles away they need to show more consistency. They have enjoyed some good results including a 5-0 home win v Accy, a 0-0 draw at Gillingham and a 3-1 win at Wycombe but they have also had plenty of poor ones and it is this inconsistency that infuriates U's fans and i'm not sure how much time manager Chris Wilder will have left if they fail to at least make the play offs this season.

10 goal top scorer Tom Craddock will give us many problems i'm sure as will James Constable who has 3 and Alfie Potter who has 5. They also have quality in the form of experienced former Chesterfield and MK Dons midfielder Peter Leven, Sean Rigg signed from Vale in the summer, Andrew Whing the former Cov and Brighton defender who many U's fans find culpable for many defensive issues, former Argyle man Peter Capaldi, Dean Smalley, Pope John Paul the Pittman and many other key players who make you realise that the club are in fact underachieveing. The telling stat is the fact that they have gone 18 games without drawing so a result either way is on the cards.

Last time out v Dagenham

1. Ryan Clarke (gk)
2. Michael Raynes
3. Jake Wright
4. Andrew Whing
5. Tony Capaldi
6. Adam Chapman
7. Sean Rigg
8. Lee Cox
9. Peter Leven
10. James Constable
11. Tom Craddock

SUBS: Wayne Brown (gk) UNUSED, Luke O'Brien UNUSED, John Mullins ( on loan from Rotherham ) UNUSED, Simon Heslop ( on for Whing on 80 mins ), Jake Forster - Caskey ( on loan from Brighton ) UNUSED, Liam Davis ( on for Capaldi on 67 mins ) , Pope John Paul the Pittman ( on for Cox on 53 mins ).

The referee for this one is CHRIS SARGINSON who is one of the few i have rated whenever i have seen him. His glamourous assistants are Nick Hobbis NOT Hobbit! Durhh! I don't want Gollum making an appearance for this one. The other is Simon Knapp and i just hope he is taking a one everytime the ref comes to him for advice. The 4th official is Ian Rathbone.

I'm not going to this one sadly as i can't get a kid sitter and Oxford is a bit of a bogey ground for me personally as i've always had something on or never been able to make it whenever we have played there and we've played there most seasons in recent years. Again, not knowing Lingys team selection and tactics makes it hard to predict the outcome but if go on how i THINK he will approach the game then we are in for a heavy defeat possibly 4 but i will go 3-0 to Oxford and we won't get a look in.

There isn't really a lot to say about Oxford as Andy's town of the day as apart from the University buildings and other assorted ecclesiastical structures, there ain't a lot there. Also i'm not too bothered about Oxford as a place because it's full of students who say 'cool' and 'it was like (this)' and 'it was like (that)'. For example, STUDENT 1 Steve from Hull, "Eyup Tarquin ( got to be called Tarquin or Rupert ) did yoo goo aart last neet son?" - STUDENT 2 Tarquin from Bourton-on-the-Water replies, "Oh yes, it was sooooooooo cool, it was like THE BEST, Simon snogged a sheep and Francis ended up in someones decorative fountain absolutely COVERED in lasagne. It was like Simon said this and it was like Simon did that and it was like SOOOOOOOO COOL man, OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! Tristan downloaded a new app onto his tablet that beeps when he needs a shit! HAHA GUFFAW GUFFAW! That is AMAAAAAAAZING! It's so cool, it's like the COOLEST thing on the ENTIRE planet peoples! "

Anyway like i said, avoid students at all costs because they really are f*cking annoying! I was one once too, went to Lincoln for three years and was surrounded with other students who felt the need to talk like a student. Even some from the north would try and develop southern studenty accents. I always wondered why i didn't fit in. I only went to uni because my mates went when i had a job and i used to ask them what they were doing each night and they said going out and getting battered! I worked and couldn't afford it! F*cking students, got more money than me! FFS!

Anyway, the other reason why it's a desperatly poor and short town of the day is that i'm short on time, i've never been to Oxford so have no personal experiences to share nor have i been to the Kassam which i understand has 3 sides, there is nowhere to park and it's closer to the moon than Oxford station.
Strangely enough it was Pope Gregory the 9th inviting me for drinks aboard his steam yacht, the saucy sue currently wintering in montego bay with the England cricket team and the Balanese Goddess of plenty.
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Post by SuperNickyWroe »

austrianandygull wrote: I'd love to get out more but my wing warden won't allow it. ;-)
thought it was your electronic tag holding you back............... 8/ :rofl:
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