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<<< Shudder

Southampton Gull wrote:<<< Shudder

Now that's the advantage of having a shaven head.

My girlfriend thinks i'm a stalker.




Well she's not actually my girlfriend yet...............................................................

A nun gets on a bus thats empty bar the driver. She says to him "I'm going to die soon, I've been diagnosed with an incurible disease, but I want to experience sex before i go, but I must remain a virgin, so it must be anal and I cant be involved in adultery so the man must be single. Can you fulfil my wish?" "Yes" says the bus driver, and he pulls into a quiet stop and fulfils the nuns wish. He then feels guilty and confesses " Sorry , I lied, I'm married with three kids". "Thats ok" says the nun, "I lied too. My names Keith and I'm going to a fancy dress party!"

There is a new Mister Man based on Emil Heskey..........










He's called Mr Sitter :mrgreen:

I was sitting on the train today with this really hot thai girl sitting across from me.

I kept thinking, "please don't get a hard-on, please don't get a hard-on, please don't get a hard-on"

Then she did....

Priest goes to stay at a holiday inn, While checking in he asks the receptionist if the porn channel is disabled.

She replies, "No, It's regular porn you weirdo"

I'm opening an Italian Funeral Parlour next week.


I'm naming it PASTA - WAY.

1) Go to Google translate
2) English to Hungarian
3) Type in "cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese
cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese
cheese cheese"
4) Click Listen
5) Laugh like a little child
http://translate.google.com/

Might be sh!te but her voice is sexy

Fernando Torres . . . not as famous as his relative . . . Clit.

Iron Man is a Superhero . . .

. . . iron woman is a simple instruction.

The police pulled over a black motorist. After extensive investigations they ascertained he actually owned the BMW he was driving. Insurance, MOT and Road Tax were in order and there were no vehicle defects or outstanding parking fines. The car contained no drugs or stolen property. He had a job and no criminal convictions.

So they booked him for wasting police time.

Asked a streetgirl for a wank last night. She started rubbing my cock with a keyring.


Perhaps it's just me, but I felt like I was being fobbed off.

Four big b*stards were kicking the shit out of me last night. Against all odds I managed to knock one out.


Probably not the best time for a wank, but I figured it could have been my last.