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Gullscorer wrote:The main problem on the internet lies in a lack of clarity in communication. This is true of all written work, but particularly in what are often hastily written internet posts, where there is no visual body language to indicate the mood, tone, or intended meaning of the author.

It can even be a problem where people are face-to-face, ostensibly speaking the same language, but in most cases, if people approach such interchanges in the right spirit they will arrive at a common understanding as to the intended meaning and whether or not it is teasingly jocular or deadly serious. This becomes even more important where one person is in a position of power.

Greater care needs to be taken in writing internet forum posts, and indeed e-mails, to ensure that one's mood and meaning are clear, otherwise misunderstandings can arise. A good example, Matt, is your jocular remark on the 'Happiness and Suicide' thread. I dread to think what the effect of that remark might be if it were to be read by somebody who was genuinely depressed or suicidal.

It behoves all of us to stop, think, and check our work before hitting that 'submit' or 'send' button, thereby committing our comments and messages to permanent internet publication..

Excellent post and I struggle massively trying to interpret some posts and often take things the wrong way when I shouldn't due to the intonation of the post. Maybe if people made better use of the symbols then it would give some indication of what they are meaning.

It's a rare thing, Scorer, but I did actually pause for a second before hitting the 'Submit' button to post my thing on the Suicide thread. I decided that the post was so absurd and so clearly a joke that it would be as harmless as saying nothing at all. That said, I've fallen foul of this sort of thing before, but I blame that on society being far too sensitive these days.

Matt.

i read it, i got it as a joke, i laughed my ass off, but then i did think for a second, i hope everyone realises it was a joke and we dont get anyone taking it seriously or being offended in the worst possible way. i doubt it would push anyone over the edge but its a strange world we live in.

It is well known that Aspergers / Autism sufferers however mild their affliction have great difficulty in reading people and their intentions, whether that be body language, facial expression, verbal communication or written word - it can be an intense business for some trying to work out what comes natural to most so I think we shouldn't criticise too much.

agreed.

It may have been a joke Matt, and I saw it that way, and most people would, but it was a thoughtless joke in bad taste, since anyone depressed or suicidal may well have seen it as a joke against them and it would do nothing to improve their state of mind.

To put it another way, you would not make such jokes against somebody in a wheelchair or somebody with Downs Syndrome, whether in their presence or on the internet. If you did, society, not to mention the law, would probably and rightly condemn you for mocking the afflicted. So why with people who are depressed or suicidal?

The more I think about it, the more I think you should be ashamed of yourself..!!

How depressed can one be if one is reading an obscure post on an abscure thread on a board hidden away in an obscure corner of the internet.

The more ashamed you think I should be, the more you become part of everything that is wrong with the world today.

Matt.

For completlness, I offer the following:

What's the hardest part of a vegetable?

The wheelchair.

Yes, I discriminate against everyone equally in my humour.

ferrarilover wrote:How depressed can one be if one is reading an obscure post on an abscure thread on a board hidden away in an obscure corner of the internet.
The more ashamed you think I should be, the more you become part of everything that is wrong with the world today.

Matt.

For completlness, I offer the following:

What's the hardest part of a vegetable?

The wheelchair.

Yes, I discriminate against everyone equally in my humour.

I know EXACTLY what you mean!

(appropriate use of smiley suggests i'm not depressed now)

(and I've done it again just to prove it)

(and again)

I'm very very depressed now..

The post being referred to was reported but I took the view that it's the responsibility of the poster as to whether it was appropriate or not. One dissenting voice doesn't prove to me that I was wrong to do so, neither does it make me feel vindicated either. I felt it was in poor taste but then so are most of Matt's posts.

That's cheered me up a little bit..

Actually Matt, you are incorrect in your assumption that any criticism of your post(s) is the kind of response the politically correct brigade would produce. I'm the last person to go along with political correctness and to deny anybody freedom of expression. That's not what this is about.

It's about simple common human decency, and I only ask people to pause and consider, before they decide to mock the afflicted, even if there's only the smallest chance of one suicidal person being affected. What if that one suicidal depressed person was you; how would you like it?

We can never get everything right and I'm sure there's more than one person who read it and thought the same but seeing as you can put a reasonable point across without either of you throwing your toys out of the pram I think it was worth taking no action on this occasion. You never know, Matt might think again and edit the post accordingly. It's when you get tit for tat bitching that we have to do something to stop it, thankfully it doesn't happen too often, taking brucie and Matt aside, most people can have a reasoned debate about the majority of subjects.

And Brucie and Matt are really not bad fellows either.

Gullscorer wrote:That's cheered me up a little bit..

Actually Matt, you are incorrect in your assumption that any criticism of your post(s) is the kind of response the politically correct brigade would produce. I'm the last person to go along with political correctness and to deny anybody freedom of expression. That's not what this is about.

It's about simple common human decency, and I only ask people to pause and consider, before they decide to mock the afflicted, even if there's only the smallest chance of one suicidal person being affected. What if that one suicidal depressed person was you; how would you like it?

Nope, won't have this. We're down to such diminishing returns and such slim margins of chance that, despite my comment meaning just about as little to me as is possible, the trade off between the effect on my wellbeing from not making the joke and the realistic chances of the effect it would have on anyone else actually works out in favour of my making the comment.

If I must stop and think before posting this, I must stop and think before I post anything and if I stop to think about everything I post, I have to stop and think about everything I say and if I have to stop and think about everything I say, I have to stop and think about everything I do. That simply renders life not worth living. If someone is offended by something I do or say, that's their choice and their character flaw, not mine. I can't live my life according to the sensibilities of everyone else, because someone is offended by everything. Have a look at some of the arseholes who write in to Points Of View, offended because a woman on Blue Peter wore a white blouse, indicating, obviously, that she hates all things black.
If someone takes meaningful action based on something some random loser on the Internet has posted in jest, then we must wonder whether they might have done humanity a favour by removing themselves from the gene pool.

The law allows for this, we have rules of reasonable fortitude and that is what I'm really invoking here.

Matt.

ferrarilover wrote: Nope, won't have this. We're down to such diminishing returns and such slim margins of chance that, despite my comment meaning just about as little to me as is possible, the trade off between the effect on my wellbeing from not making the joke and the realistic chances of the effect it would have on anyone else actually works out in favour of my making the comment.

If I must stop and think before posting this, I must stop and think before I post anything and if I stop to think about everything I post, I have to stop and think about everything I say and if I have to stop and think about everything I say, I have to stop and think about everything I do. That simply renders life not worth living. If someone is offended by something I do or say, that's their choice and their character flaw, not mine. I can't live my life according to the sensibilities of everyone else, because someone is offended by everything. Have a look at some of the arseholes who write in to Points Of View, offended because a woman on Blue Peter wore a white blouse, indicating, obviously, that she hates all things black.
If someone takes meaningful action based on something some random loser on the Internet has posted in jest, then we must wonder whether they might have done humanity a favour by removing themselves from the gene pool.

The law allows for this, we have rules of reasonable fortitude and that is what I'm really invoking here.

Matt.

This reminds me of the girl (Hannah Smith I think her name was?), who committed suicide because of hate she was getting on her ask.fm* page. Yet it turned out that she sent 98% of the abusive messages to herself. This really does bring it clearer to me how much people want attention and what they will do for it, if only 2% of the abusive messages she got were from other people. Those 2% were probably just people joining in the "fun" of abusing her thinking that it was other people sending the other messages, so therefore weren't actually meaning anything by it. Then she committed suicide, got loads of attention from it (nationwide), a lot of people saying how it was wrong and stuff for people to abuse her, and yet it was herself abusing herself.

This post actually confused me slightly as the writer, so if you understood it, then good on you.

*askfm is a website where people can set up an account and then people can ask questions anonymously, or un-anonymously, to other people without the other person ever being able to find out who it was who sent the message. It, by far and large, is used as a way of sending abuse to other people, which I find rather cowardly and stupid to be perfectly honest.