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Did you know...

... that if you say "gullible" slowly...

... it sounds like "oranges"?

Good people (all Russian, all men):

quite heartwarming that. almost restores a bit of faith in mankind. lovely piece of music too.

There's always a few idiotic people: the young women who allowed a pushchair to roll away, and a toddler to wander onto a dangerous road..

A few more similar videos via this link:

Need to be careful on Russian roads..

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree ?















Hang on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job.

Don't know who this guy is but I was splitting my sides watching this video:

A dwarf with a lisp goes into a stud farm

"I'd like to buy a horth" he says to the owner of the farm. "What sort of horse?" said the owner. "A female horth" the dwarf replies. So the owner shows him a mare.

"Nithe horth."says the dwarf, "Can I thee her eyeth?" So the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses eyes.

"Nithe eyeth.", says the dwarf. "Can I thee her teeth?" Again the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses teeth.

"Nithe teeth.... can I see her eerth?" the dwarf says. By now the owner is getting a little fed up but again, picks up the dwarf to show him the horses ears. "Nithe eerth.' he says.

'Now...can I see her twot?" With this the owner picks the dwarf up by the scruff of his neck and shoves his head deep inside the horses v*gina. He holds him there for a couple of seconds before pulling him out and putting him down. The dwarf shakes his head and says "Perhaps I should weefwaze that...Can I see her wun awound?"

Three friends married women from different parts of the world.

The first man married a Greek girl.
He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning.
It took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man married a Thai girl.
He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking.
The first day he didn't see any results but the next day he saw it was better.
By the third day he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Derbyshire.
He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table every day.
The first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything either... but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down, he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.
He still has some difficulty when he urinates...

WHAT DO WE WANT?

Hearing aids

WHEN DO WE WANT THEM?

Hearing aids

I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.

It reminds me of why there is no money in there.

Moved to 'If You Have Kids' thread.

My in laws bought me pair of roller blades from Poundland for my birthday.


Fookin' Cheapskates










I'm back

Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks his chemist

"Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"

Chemist replies, "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"

My mate Jim drowned. We got him a wreath in the shape of a life ring.















Its what he would have wanted.............