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Everybody must see this. Happy Christmas!

Christmas Dinner?

This is brilliant! Very cleverly done, a simple way of explaining a few things including why President JFK was done over.

[youtube]ZPWH5TlbloU[/youtube]

Anyone interested in any half price concert tickets?





It's for an Everly brothers show..........................

Had a ropey old day here in the grip of the Arctic Vortex (-45F with the wind chill) :whip:
Then watched a few minutes of Dudley Moore
Genius...wonder if Danny plays the piano?





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A man starting his new job as lighthouse keeper is carried across by boat with his suitcases, enters the lighthouse, climbs the spirally spirally stair, and begins the process of settling in. He makes sure all is well with the light, unpacks his things, and finally settles down to read the paper.

At that moment the phone rings, so he charges off down the spirally spirally stair to answer it, only to find it's his his mother. Yes he's remembered to turn the light on, yes he's settling in, and yes he's got enough clean pants. Eventually reclimbing the spirally spirally stair, he settles down with his paper once more.

The phone rings again, so he shoots off back down the spirally spirally stair. Auntie Maud, have you settled in, have you got enough warm scarves, etc. Back up the spirally spirally stair to his paper.

After another two interruptions, from a wrong number and his sister Susan, the new lighthouse keeper decides something needs to be done, if he is to have the life of peace and solitude which he sought in taking the job.

Turning at last to the classifieds, he sees an ad which declares, dogs, trained to do anything. Reaching again the bottom of the spirally spirally stair, he dials the number and asks if it possible to train a dog to answer the phone. Such a dog is available, so he arranges to have it delivered to the lighthouse the next day.

Once he is acquainted with his new canine companion, the lighthouse keeper attends to the light, and then sits down to read the paper. Shortly after, the phone rings, and the dog has the opportunity to prove his worth. As soon as he hears the bell, Fido shoots off down the spirally spirally stair.

The lighthouse keeper listens intently, and hearing that the ringing has stopped. Excellent, he's answered it! Then comes the clackety clack sound of claws on stone, as Fido races back up the spirally spirally stair to deliver his message.

Finally, Fido bounds back to the side of his new master, tail wagging in excitement.

The lighthouse keeper says, 'Well?'

Fido says, 'It's for you.'

Saw four blokes with Leeds shirts on yesterday playing football with a cat. I was absolutely furious and was just about to get my phone out to call the RSPCA when the cat went 1-0 up.

Local undertakers have just increased their fees. They blame a rise in the cost of living..

Interviews with Prof. Janice Fiamengo:

Gullscorer wrote:Interviews with Prof. Janice Fiamengo:

I'm sorry matey, but will you bugger off with your anti women rants? This is the joke thread, tubes and videos are meant to be funny, not 2 1/2 hours+ of feminist claptrap that absolutely no one with any sort of life is going to sit through!
Yes we know women are getting the upper hand in this country, I've been a victim of sex discrimination at work where a female colleague was treated more favourably than myself (happened quite a lot),but there was little I could do at the time and now it's too late.
Give it a rest.

I've just driven past a field, where I saw a scarecrow trying to have a w4nk.



I think he's clutching at straws.

My mate went to see a psychic last week who told him he would be coming into money.

Last night he shagged a fat bird called Penny - how spooky is that? :-o

Paddy gets arrested for wife beating. and the judge asks him "Why do you keep beating her?"



Paddy says, "I think its my weight advantage, longer reach and superior footwork....
:}

EmetEdadsBeard wrote: I'm sorry matey, but will you bugger off with your anti women rants? This is the joke thread, tubes and videos are meant to be funny, not 2 1/2 hours+ of feminist claptrap that absolutely no one with any sort of life is going to sit through!
Yes we know women are getting the upper hand in this country, I've been a victim of sex discrimination at work where a female colleague was treated more favourably than myself (happened quite a lot),but there was little I could do at the time and now it's too late.
Give it a rest.

How is a YouTube link a rant? This is a thread for favourite jokes, favourite tubes, and favourite videos. They don't have to be funny (except perhaps for the jokes). I shall continue to post anything which may be of interest. You don't have to watch them. But if you had bothered to look through all my posts and links you would see that they present a diverse mix of subjects and topics. And some very funny jokes. On the other hand, your last three attempts at what you consider to be humour were not only distinctly unfunny but were in extremely bad taste and many people on this forum will be offended by them.

You are, however, free to post whatever disgusting schoolboy garbage you find amusing, within reasonable but very generous limits, but by the same token other people are free to post whatever they find funny, interesting, amusing, ironic, fascinating, disturbing, or whatever. You must allow others the same freedoms here that you yourself enjoy. If you don't like that you should acknowledge your own fascist totalitarian attitude and (as you yourself so charmingly put it) bugger off.

By the way, I am not anti-women. I love women. I do, however, strongly oppose modern ideological man-hating feminism which is about power and control, which most people don't seem to recognise because most men and women get along perfectly well together. I would hope you have enough brains to see the difference. But, as these videos show, 'women's studies' or 'gender studies' is not a true academic discipline; it is ideological indoctrination based on totally false world views.
(End of rant).. :na:

Hit a nerve have I? Like I said, this is the jokes thread, not the women hating rant thread. God knows what one of them has done to you, you're totally obsessed with feminism. Why don't you start a thread about it, put your links on there then the rest of us with a sense of humour can do what this thread was set up for-telling jokes, schoolboy, offensive or otherwise?
Bloody hell you're a miserable bore. :-|