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Alan Carr.

Apparently he is a comedian.

He is about as funny as the bloody norovirus.

I hate his stupid bloody voice - his stupid bloody laugh - his stupid show - and I absolutely detest Channel 4 for giving him a bloody platform in the first place.

The sooner the guy **** off, the better.

Gok Wan

See above.

Christmas trees and decorations up already.

It's the **** ing 3rd of December....we have 22 days to go and there are people out there that have all their decorations up already, lights plastered all over the outside of their house, meaning that all I can see, instead of my TV, is the constant **** ing flash of red, blue green and all the other **** ing colours in my living room.

I like Christmas, don't get me wrong, but there are three whole weeks until the event starts!! Take your decorations and shove 'em up your **** ing arse for another couple of weeks

Haha! Calm down mate!! Love the photo, quality.

austrianandygull wrote:Haha! Calm down mate!! Love the photo, quality.

For once Andy plays the 'calm down' card! That doesn't happen often!

But that photo is awesome.

Oh good, a royal baby.

9 **** ing months of royal baby talk.

I'm so excited my **** ing arse might prolapse.

With you there Scotty, the press coverage is already getting right up my forking nose. Right through the night on the hour every hour..radio news , Kate in hospital with acute morning sickness and Williams is at her beside.

For fork sake rammed sideways talking about adding sensastion to a story, so she been a little sick and her husband went to see if she was alright..love the way they add the word "acute" Does that somehow justify the hospital bed being taken up, and Williams is by her side..is she on deaths door or just blowing a few chunks.

The worst thing about ANY royal coverage is when they throw to their correspondent who then has to aimlessly guess how each of the family is feeling.

"I understand the Duke of Edinborough is delighted"
"The Queen is probably planning a small family party"
"Princess Beatrice might be thinking this is a good opportunity to get famous"

The reporter doesn't know anything; there's no need to hear them ramble!

oh yes, another royal baby - shoot me now!
agree steve, they make my f**king blood boil those correspondents..
no idea about childbirth or anything else for that matter - nicolas witchell, the most annoying man on tv - apart from alan carr eh scott? 8/ =D
reporters spending their sad f**king time gushing about someone being 2-3 months (we arnt sure by the way) pregnant. just f**k off, please.
as for william, well the poor fellow looks "apprehensive" course he does he wont get a jump now for ages - unless hes like his father! =D
why would he be apprehensive - i mean when the f**king baby is born they will have more drs, nurses and nannies available than there is currenrly in the NHS.

just f**k off.

Breaking news at 1pm - William visits pregnant wife in hospital.

I couldn't care less!!

In other news, I just went for a cracking dump.

Scott Brehaut wrote:Oh good, a royal baby.

9 f**k ing months of royal baby talk.

I'm so excited my f**k ing arse might prolapse.

Absolute magic, from others too! This thread has been reinvigorated!

If i may chip my penneth worth in too. Who gives a f*cking sh*t?!! Like the Royal Variety Performance last night...... WHO GIVES A FLYING F*CK!!!!

I respect people for working for their fortune and positions in life, not for having a cushy life by default just because their parents and their parents before that etc etc are royalty!!! I'd like to go swanning around the world meeting African kids and staying on Paradise islands but i can't f*cking afford to do so. Why should they be able to ? They haven't deserved it. Parasitic c*nts. I have more respect for the fleas that live on my cat, at least they have to fend for themselves until they die. W*NKERS!!!!

NOTE: As a thoroughly responsible pet owner i do use the latest veterinary prescribed chemical prevention to stave off any flea infestations on my cats, the comment was just to make a point!

Scott, Andy, Chris Steve etc, you have stolen my thunder. I hate the concept of royalty with a passion, the are the biggest bunch of parasites on the planet. No doubt we may get a sychophantic royalist or two claiming such shite as "Its their own personal wealth" (their ancestors stole it from ours ffs), "they bring tourism into the country" (people would come anyway, particularly the gullible Americans who, in the words of Frankie Boyle would be amused "by a balloon on a stick"), "they give over the profits from the Duchy Of Cornwall" , (we, the people would get it anyway) "they're cheaper than a President" (so what? at least we'd get to chose then).

We should do what the Russians and French did to their Royals. If the yanks like them so much, let them fund them!!!

Now, if the baby was ginger it might get my attention

Yup, getting it all here Down Under too! Baby names now being bandied around. Good grief. Why isn't Mrs Rene's pregnancy getting equal media coverage? MUCH more interesting!
HG

Scott Brehaut wrote:Now, if the baby was ginger it might get my attention

If it was black it might get mine too.



(Please, please don't post in saying that's racist - it's not)

It's perfectly legal and respectful and a joke which someone would perfectly be entitled to crack should Wills and Kate have been black and they made the same joke about the baby being white so there. :na:

If it is for some bizarre legal reason deemed inappropriate and racist then i do apologise in advance as it was never meant in that context and if i have to do a 6 month stretch to exercise my freedom of speech in the UK then i suppose that's what i'll have to do!