FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

[Trojan 67]

A special Merry Christmas to all the jokers who have supported this thread with special thanks to Emet.

[Trojan 67]

Christmas time,
Valium and wine,
Children indulging in serious crime.
Dad on the weed and mum on the crack,
Christmas is magic when your family s black.

[Trojan 67]

Rudolph the well-hung reindeer
Had a big enormous c*ck.
All he could ever do with it,
Was beat it off inside a sock.

All of the female reindeer
Had pussies that were just too small.
Poor old well-hung Rudolph
Couldn t get any sex at all.

Then one horny Christmas Eve, Santa came to say,
“Rudolph with you c*ck so strong, f*ck my rsehole all night long.”

Then how the reindeer loved him,
Some of them were heard to say,
“Rudolph the well-hung reindeer,
Aren t you lucky Santa s gay!”

[Trojan 67]

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, on a wonder sled,
Crashing into all the trees, I m off my f*cking head.
Been puffing on the peace pipe with a dozen beers or more,
I m heading for the redlight zone to get myself a whore.

Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Santa s on the weed,
Mrs Claus is on the deck she s overdosed on speed.
Blitzens f*cked, elves are too, all are off their head.
If Rudolph snorts another line he ll end up f*cking dead.

Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells . . . . .

[Southampton Gull]

Have a giggle, totally hilarious.

[Trojan 67]

Saw the following after Aussie posted it on TFF. Shamelessly, I have stolen it and posted it here : :Oops:

[Trojan 67]

He laid her on the table, so white and clean and bare.
His forehead wet with beads of sweat, he rubbed her here and there.
He touched her neck and felt her breast then drooling felt her thigh.
The slit was wet and all was set, he gave a joyous cry.
The hole was wide, he looked inside, all was dark and murky.
He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms then stuffed the Christmas turkey.

Message from Paxo : a good stuffing equates to a more delicious bird.

[Trojan 67]

A family are sat around the dining room table. The son asks, “How many types of boobs are there ?”
Father says, “Well son, a woman goes through three stages. In her teens and 20 s, they re like melons : firm and round. In her 30 s and 40 s, they re like pears : hanging a bit but still nice. After 50 they re like onions.”

“Onions ?” says the son.

“Yes son, you see them and your eyes weep.”

This infuriated both mother and daughter, so daughter asks, “How many types of c*ck are there ?”
Mother says, “Well daughter, a man also goes through three stages. In his teens and 20 s, it s like an oak : mighty and hard. In his 30 s and 40 s it s like a birch : flexible but still reliable. After 50 it s like a Christmas tree.”

“A Christmas tree ?” says the daughter.

“Yes dear, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

[Trojan 67]

Simon Cowell has announced he will be making a new talent show for Muslims, Pakis, blacks and chavs.


Bone F*cking Idol starts this summer.

[Trojan 67]

A woman driver called me a tnuc.


I was surprised. I didn't know women could reverse.

[EmetEdadsBeard]

Thanks Trojan, and a Happy New Year to you all!

Though not a racist by any stretch of the imagination, I do know a lot of racist jokes which I've refrained from posting due to not knowing how the mods would feel about it (I know some people can get a bit touchy about certain subjects), but Trojan 67's latest offerings have allayed my fears. So here goes.......

I was watching a black family on 'Family Fortunes' . You should have seen their faces light up when Vernon Kay said to them " Get ready', you might have a chance to steal" :-|

[EmetEdadsBeard]

Last week I saw a poor old lady fall in the snow and lay unconcious.
Well I'm assuming she was poor she only had 86p in her purse.................

[EmetEdadsBeard]

A mate of mines a taxi driver, and a woman got in and when she got home she lifts her skirt and says to him " I'm sorry, I haven't any money, can I pay you with this?"

"Fook me, haven't you anything smaller?" my mate replies.......... :mrgreen:

[EmetEdadsBeard]

i went for my routine check up today, and it seemed to be going well until he put his index finger up my arse.


Do you think I should find a different dentist?

[EmetEdadsBeard]

A mate of mine met a woman in a bar, they hit it off and she eventually goes back to his place. During the evening she notices three rows of teddy bears sat on shelves in his bedroom. Bottom shelf has small bears, middle shelf bigger bears and large bears on the top. Woman thinks he must be a sensitive type and could be the one, so she stays the night with him.
Next morning she asks him " How was I?"
"Not bad at all" replies my mate "Help yourself to any prize off the middle shelf"