TorquayFans.com | Torquay United Fans Forum

f**king 13th wedding anniversary today (16th). which also means its 15 years since we have been together. f**k me, if i had commited murder and went to prison i would probably be a free man today.

na, we're not that bad really, shes alright, the silly old moo.

however, i thought it was supposed to be the 'kin bloke that forgot the anniversary. i bought the obligatory card and a couple of bunches of flowers, i booked her in and paid for an hours massage with a professional (female - crikey girl on girl action, hadnt thought of that :devil: ).

she walks in from work, the boy draws her attention to flowers and card, she reads it, gets her massage voucher, loves it, well chuffed. then she says, "oh i actually thought you had forgotten, um, oh, ive got your card and that upstairs, i havent written it yet, um, because i thought you had forgotten, back in a minute."

so, she emerges back downstairs, "um, i did buy you a few presents and a card, but i cant find them, ive got a couple of things for you", she handed me a dodgy book (from the works) and a topic bar, yes a topic bar. " i'll find the rest later when you are at work" she says.

so, at 10 to 10, i get in from work, faggots and chips for tea (great anniversary dinner). guess what, its only gone to bed already and its snoring its head off, fast asleep. so, no card, gift, nice diner or time together this evening, those i can forgive and forget, but to top it all off no bloody anniversary nook nooks either! what a c**t!

well ive eaten the wonderful faggots and chips, and the topic, now im off to bed and im going to give her a few gentle digs in the ribs, just to see (god loves a trier). :~D

i doubt it will work, so i'll probably pop back down in a bit and have a scan of some wonder woman clips on youtube.

bollocks, i went to bed, gave her a couple of digs, and then fell asleep my bloody self. >:(

can you imagine the difference though if she had actually remembered our anniversary and i was the one that bloody forgot. world war sodding 3, thats what it would have been, i wouldnt have heard the end of it.
bloody cow.

:~D

chunkygull wrote:f**king 13th wedding anniversary today (16th). which also means its 15 years since we have been together. f**k me, if i had commited murder and went to prison i would probably be a free man today.

na, we're not that bad really, shes alright, the silly old moo.

however, i thought it was supposed to be the 'kin bloke that forgot the anniversary. i bought the obligatory card and a couple of bunches of flowers, i booked her in and paid for an hours massage with a professional (female - crikey girl on girl action, hadnt thought of that :devil: ).

she walks in from work, the boy draws her attention to flowers and card, she reads it, gets her massage voucher, loves it, well chuffed. then she says, "oh i actually thought you had forgotten, um, oh, ive got your card and that upstairs, i havent written it yet, um, because i thought you had forgotten, back in a minute."

so, she emerges back downstairs, "um, i did buy you a few presents and a card, but i cant find them, ive got a couple of things for you", she handed me a dodgy book (from the works) and a topic bar, yes a topic bar. " i'll find the rest later when you are at work" she says.

so, at 10 to 10, i get in from work, faggots and chips for tea (great anniversary dinner). guess what, its only gone to bed already and its snoring its head off, fast asleep. so, no card, gift, nice diner or time together this evening, those i can forgive and forget, but to top it all off no bloody anniversary nook nooks either! what a c**t!

well ive eaten the wonderful faggots and chips, and the topic, now im off to bed and im going to give her a few gentle digs in the ribs, just to see (god loves a trier). :~D

i doubt it will work, so i'll probably pop back down in a bit and have a scan of some wonder woman clips on youtube.

HAHA! Chunky! Thems the breaks my friend! (I know EXACTLY where you are coming from ).

typical f**kin female chunk!!!

mine forgets ours too.......

cant blame her I suppose............ :} =D

I'm not married and never will be so we don't have anniversaries!

Also we don't DO valentines either. Valentines is for muppets and is financially unviable. Price of meal out on or before Valentines £900 Price on 7th of September as a random date £20. Also it is far more romantic to plan something and produce a card or a day/meal out on a random day in the year when it is not expected than to give in to the commercial bullsh*t of Valentines. I'm sure most of us won't admit it but we buy (or did used to buy) Valentines stuff on Valentines day out of duty and not because we wanted to. Try it my way and it becomes more personal and appreciated.

AustrianAndyGull wrote:I'm not married and never will be so we don't have anniversaries!

Also we don't DO valentines either. Valentines is for muppets and is financially unviable. Price of meal out on or before Valentines £900 Price on 7th of September as a random date £20. Also it is far more romantic to plan something and produce a card or a day/meal out on a random day in the year when it is not expected than to give in to the commercial bullsh*t of Valentines. I'm sure most of us won't admit it but we buy (or did used to buy) Valentines stuff on Valentines day out of duty and not because we wanted to. Try it my way and it becomes more personal and appreciated.

I've NEVER brought anything on Valentines Day out of principal. Money grabbing bastard flower shops/restaurants etc.

I, like you Andy, usually buy stuff throughout the year - although if she does get flowers the first question is usually "What have you done?", to which my reply is usually, "Nothing yet, but lets see where the night takes us"

Either way, nothing comes out of it.

In fact, I don't know why us men bloody bother!!

Scott Brehaut wrote: I've NEVER brought anything on Valentines Day out of principal. Money grabbing bastard flower shops/restaurants etc.

I, like you Andy, usually buy stuff throughout the year - although if she does get flowers the first question is usually "What have you done?", to which my reply is usually, "Nothing yet, but lets see where the night takes us"

Either way, nothing comes out of it.

In fact, I don't know why us men bloody bother!!

"smooth"

some good points there by both, valentines is indeed a bigger rip off than premier league football.

but the points that if you do nice things randomly and its not an occasion like birthdays, valentines, anniversarys or christmas they get overly suspicious and think you have done something or are after something are bang on, so i dont bother anymore.

last time i did something spontaneously nice like that i got interrogated so fiercely i thought she had been trained by the cia and i was going to get the waterboarding treatment. i had visions of that scene in casino royale when bond is in that seatless chair getting smashed in the cojones.

[youtube]i97EzIOF8dQ[/youtube]

:-o

Cojones?! What the hell are these?!!

nuts, balls, testicles, berries, plums, spuds, love apples, rocks, gonads, minerals, stones, family jewels, goolies, baubles, clangers, bollocks, :Oops:

1.
Cojones

The Mexican/puerto rican/cuban/south american way to say balls

"I'll rip off yo cajones"


2.
Cojones

Spanish slang; meaning having balls, not scared

"If you steal from a store, You have BIG cojones mayne"

3.
Cojones
Spanish word meaining your nads; Your manhood; Your balls.

"Do you have BIG cojones mang?" (from GTA Vice City)

4.
Cojones

n, pl: The testicles (vulgar slang). The word is of Spanish origin

"You got some cojones talking to me like that, amigo...want me to break your face for you?"

5.
Cojones

Male organs that work as a team, unless one or both come to a rather painful end.

"I'd like you to meet my friends. This is Jones, and over here is his partner, CoJones."

6.
Cojones
testicals, balls, nuts

"Hey lets see who has bigger cojones amigo!"

(balls, testicals, nuts, guts, dignity, pride)

7.
Cojones

1. courage, guts (from sense 2)

2. the testicles

(both senses from Spanish)

"You've got major cojones to try something like that on a big motherf*cker like him".

Modern words and slang.

No.1 - TRENDING

Could someone explain to me what the f#cking hell this means please?

No.2 - MY BAD

Err, you mean 'my mistake' or 'my fault' or 'oh f*ck' surely? If so then say one of the previous NORMAL expressions and stop talking like a complete fanny.

Oh and thanks for the cojones reply chunks although a simple ' they are boll*cks' would have sufficed mate! :na:

AustrianAndyGull wrote:Modern words and slang.

No.1 - TRENDING

Could someone explain to me what the f#cking hell this means please?

It's a Twitter terminology using the Hashtag # system. For example, when you see someone put up a status with #somethingmeaninglesshere at the end of it, that would go into a big list of which hashtags people are using. Trending tends to be used for the most used hashtags, so it's often something topical of what's going on now, such as a celebrity dying. It's basically a hashtag league table.

why do people use hashtags and then write some sh*t after it then?

Come to think of it, I backed a horse called Trending a few weeks back that won at Chepstow. I'd prefer to think of that than any inane technological rubbish#nothingmakessenseanymoresoi'vebinnedmypcandi'moffdownthepubtotalksh*teandgetbattered.

Because they have nothing better to do in their lives.

I like it Luke, I like it a lot!! (you're reply not the hashtaggy type cack).

Now just time for a quick listen to a bit of Exodus before heading out to school on the train to pick my little un up and make small talk with other parents about how many cars they own and their siblings who live in Las Vegas! Can't wait........here I gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo