You didn't think i was serious about the thread thingy did you?
:slap:
The Gulls journey into Oxfordshire for their league game at the Kassam Stadium on saturday shorn of key players through suspension and injury which will make the ordinarily difficult task of getting a result there verging on the impossible. Goalkeeper Martin Rice will make his football league debut in place of the injured Michael Poke and top scorer Rene Howe is also out due to suspension and he is likely to be replaced by Ryan Jarvis. These enforced changes give Martin an opportunity to throw in some pace and trickery up front in Bodin, Stevens and Thompson and to take the game to the home side, an opportunity which i do hope he will take. Jarvis could be used as the hold up option on his own up front but i believe this tactic would be an immense mistake and we'll end up getting beaten anyway. Oxford themselves are having an unpredictable start to the campaign, lost every league game in september and were on the wrong end of a 3-2 defeat at the Kassam in midweek against the Daggers so why do what we did at Wycombe and give them the tools they need to beat us and make them look like world beaters? Only Lingy can answer that question but one is for sure, Oxford have a stronger squad than Wycombe and far more attacking threat and if we let them dictate the game on that big pitch then we've had it. I don't expect Bodin, Stevens et al to do much tracking back so the rest of the team will be overworked leading to mistakes.
Oxford fans would have hoped for a tilt at promotion this season at least via the play offs and although they aren't a million miles away they need to show more consistency. They have enjoyed some good results including a 5-0 home win v Accy, a 0-0 draw at Gillingham and a 3-1 win at Wycombe but they have also had plenty of poor ones and it is this inconsistency that infuriates U's fans and i'm not sure how much time manager Chris Wilder will have left if they fail to at least make the play offs this season.
10 goal top scorer Tom Craddock will give us many problems i'm sure as will James Constable who has 3 and Alfie Potter who has 5. They also have quality in the form of experienced former Chesterfield and MK Dons midfielder Peter Leven, Sean Rigg signed from Vale in the summer, Andrew Whing the former Cov and Brighton defender who many U's fans find culpable for many defensive issues, former Argyle man Peter Capaldi, Dean Smalley, Pope John Paul the Pittman and many other key players who make you realise that the club are in fact underachieveing. The telling stat is the fact that they have gone 18 games without drawing so a result either way is on the cards.
Last time out v Dagenham
1. Ryan Clarke (gk)
2. Michael Raynes
3. Jake Wright
4. Andrew Whing
5. Tony Capaldi
6. Adam Chapman
7. Sean Rigg
8. Lee Cox
9. Peter Leven
10. James Constable
11. Tom Craddock
SUBS: Wayne Brown (gk) UNUSED, Luke O'Brien UNUSED, John Mullins ( on loan from Rotherham ) UNUSED, Simon Heslop ( on for Whing on 80 mins ), Jake Forster - Caskey ( on loan from Brighton ) UNUSED, Liam Davis ( on for Capaldi on 67 mins ) , Pope John Paul the Pittman ( on for Cox on 53 mins ).
The referee for this one is CHRIS SARGINSON who is one of the few i have rated whenever i have seen him. His glamourous assistants are Nick Hobbis NOT Hobbit! Durhh! I don't want Gollum making an appearance for this one. The other is Simon Knapp and i just hope he is taking a one everytime the ref comes to him for advice. The 4th official is Ian Rathbone.
I'm not going to this one sadly as i can't get a kid sitter and Oxford is a bit of a bogey ground for me personally as i've always had something on or never been able to make it whenever we have played there and we've played there most seasons in recent years. Again, not knowing Lingys team selection and tactics makes it hard to predict the outcome but if go on how i THINK he will approach the game then we are in for a heavy defeat possibly 4 but i will go 3-0 to Oxford and we won't get a look in.
There isn't really a lot to say about Oxford as Andy's town of the day as apart from the University buildings and other assorted ecclesiastical structures, there ain't a lot there. Also i'm not too bothered about Oxford as a place because it's full of students who say 'cool' and 'it was like (this)' and 'it was like (that)'. For example, STUDENT 1 Steve from Hull, "Eyup Tarquin ( got to be called Tarquin or Rupert ) did yoo goo aart last neet son?" - STUDENT 2 Tarquin from Bourton-on-the-Water replies, "Oh yes, it was sooooooooo cool, it was like THE BEST, Simon snogged a sheep and Francis ended up in someones decorative fountain absolutely COVERED in lasagne. It was like Simon said this and it was like Simon did that and it was like SOOOOOOOO COOL man, OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! Tristan downloaded a new app onto his tablet that beeps when he needs a shit! HAHA GUFFAW GUFFAW! That is AMAAAAAAAZING! It's so cool, it's like the COOLEST thing on the ENTIRE planet peoples! "
Anyway like i said, avoid students at all costs because they really are f*cking annoying! I was one once too, went to Lincoln for three years and was surrounded with other students who felt the need to talk like a student. Even some from the north would try and develop southern studenty accents. I always wondered why i didn't fit in. I only went to uni because my mates went when i had a job and i used to ask them what they were doing each night and they said going out and getting battered! I worked and couldn't afford it! F*cking students, got more money than me! FFS!
Anyway, the other reason why it's a desperatly poor and short town of the day is that i'm short on time, i've never been to Oxford so have no personal experiences to share nor have i been to the Kassam which i understand has 3 sides, there is nowhere to park and it's closer to the moon than Oxford station.