Plymouth Argyle v Torquay United - 26/12/12
Posted: 23 Dec 2012, 00:19
Gulls boss Martin Ling takes his men the short journey down the Devon Expressway on Boxing Day hoping to pile more pressure on the floundering Pilgrims by securing a second successive victory against them on their own turf. How could i forget last season? Ticket at the ready i began my 300+ miles trip down to the maritime city but only got as far as Birmingham before i had to stop and head back home to Chesterfield. My alarm clock failed me that day and shortly after it lay shattered into a thousand pieces on my bedroom floor. I was somewhere near Twycross Zoo when i accepted the reality that my unplanned lie in had thwarted my futile attempt to reach Home Park in time for kick off and it was best to turn around rather than drive like Michael Schumacher. I thought about joining my brethren in the baboon section at Twycross for being such a silly monkey but my arse was already red raw from having the squits the night before brought on by copious amounts of Tribute ale and then a steak pie at 2.30 am, if i had joined their tribe ( or harim - either way it's besteality! ) i would have been chased round the enclosure like a rabid Louis Spence. 
Anyway, the long and short of was that i missed the game and we won 2-1 in front of nearly 2000 gulls packed in like sardines into the Home Park away end courtesy of goals by Billy Bodin ( YES - THAT'S BILLY BODIN ) and Lee Mansell. The crowd was 12,836 and given this game is to played on Boxing Day then i would expect similar if not more in attendance. The reverse fixture at our plaice was a 3-1 win for the mighty men in yellow giving us a double over our second least favourite rivals. A Eunan O'Kane brace and a Stevens goal put us three up.
The postponement of our game with bitter rivals Exsh*tter City at least means that the squad have a chance to rest further and some players on the cusp of fitness such as Niall Thompson may be fit and ready for this one. One thing is for sure, the players will need to bounce back from the frustration of conceding the injury time Cobblers leveller last weekend by getting some sort of result at Home Park. They need to be up for this one otherwise we could be in for a difficult afternoon, take on the challenge and things could be looking bleak for the Janners. They too, like us have had a few problems with discipline and if we wind them up they could end up men light and completely rudderless. A win for us and it's happy dace!
The fact is that many of Argyle fans still think they are a huge club, and in terms of the local area that is true. They are the biggest city in England never to have played in the top division and i'm sure they will think i'm a tail for bringing that up again but i just wanted to drill it in that Plymouth will NEVER play in the top flight. When you are the current third best team in Devon behind 'supposed' minnows like Torquay and Exeter then it's a long way from there to the Prem i can tell you. In short, Plymouth are a poor side, have no money and a lot of their fans believe they are either the anti-christ or that their club will bounce back. Wrong on both counts. They also have a high concentration of chav fans who still haven't worked out that the rest of the world is laughing at them and the way they dress and the fact that they cannot communicate properly and doing so with a west country accent makes them sound like scarecrows. I've got a Yorkshire accent thank God.
Baboons at Twycross are more effective communicators than the burberry clad Garg chavs and all THEY do is pull moonies all day! Hey, it works for them. I've heard that on occasions some of them are known to hang around outside the away end waiting for the away fans to emerge after the game, they are that hard that they have to go in groups, a bit like our friends the baboons in fact. The sooner the Government brings out a white paper proposing the cull of badly dressed retarded common chavs and their offspring the better, or alternatively i can suggest something which may work more effectively. Take away their free housing and let them freeze and starve to death on the streets and give their houses to someone who wil appreciate it and won't try and keep warm by burning mattresses and sofas in their back yard. Oh and their Japanese Akita / Staffy / Brazilian Tosa or whatever dog they own and have absolutely zero comprehension of how the breed they have should function and be trained should be taken away, retrained and rehomed before it mauls a kid because the owners have treated it like a weapon / fashion accessory. No, in fact having said all that, just cull them all. ( owners not the dogs ). Merry Christmas everyone!! :~D
Right, the serious business now. Argyle were one of the few teams to have had a game on saturday as their fixture up at Accrington survived the weather. They were 1-0 up thanks to a first half Bhasera strike but then conceded a second half equaliser scored by ex-Prem star James Beattie who is a dab hand at finding the net. A true goal poacher. The gargs were then awarded a penalty which Warren Feeney missed and they still couldn't grab the winner despite Stanley 'keeper Rachubka seeing red shortly after. The game before that they drew 1-1 at Exeter, promising youngster Joe Lennox, son of Annie levelling for the Pilgrims after the Greeks had a 1-0 half time lead.
The 'muff sit in 20th place in league 2 on 23 points and they have only won one of their last 10 league games, a 2-0 home win v York and they were also dumped out of the FA Cup by non league opposition as we were suffering a 1-0 away defeat to Dorchester Town. They haven't had a 0-0 for 17 games and the York game aside, they haven't kept a clean sheet since drawing with us at Plainmoor back in September. If Lingy doesn't take this game by the scruff of the neck then i want to know why not. Plymouth are clearly vulnerable, brittle and also have disciplinary issues so if we don't force this and at least score then i will be setting some fireworks off in my house and then getting p*ssed. Their top scorer is Paris Cowan-Hall on 4 ( don't laugh ), followed by Warren Feeney on 3 as is Rhys Griffiths. I like the Zimbabwean defender Onismor Bhasera, he looks a solid player and 'keeper Jake Cole has good pedigree too. Coley spent 7 years at QPR but is playing second fiddle to Rene Gilmartin. They also have former Birmingham player Darren Purse as well as Irish playmaker Conor Hourihane and ex Everton player Nick Chadwick. Defender Robbie Williams is named after one of the most annoying people of all time whose songs induce coma. Why oh why do you never get a defender called Kurt Cobain or Eddie Vedder? That would be sh*t hot! Joe Lennox also looks a useful prospect for the future but I don't feel to dismissive when i say that the rest of their squad is pretty poor and a complete overhaul of personnel is required before the Green Army can even contemplate any tilt at a promotion push. As it stands they have well and truly been knocked off their perch when you consider just a few short years ago they were doing well in the Championship.
Last time out v Accrington:
1. Rene Gilmartin (gk)
2. Durrell Berry ( what a ridiculous name, sounds like an air freshener! )
3. Darren Purse
4. Onismor Bhasera
5. Curtis Nelson
6. Robbie Williams
7. Conor Hourihane
8. Luke Young
9. Joe Lennox
10. Nick Chadwick
11. Rhys Griffiths
SUBS: Jake Cole UNUSED, Jamie Lowry UNUSED, Jamie Richards UNUSED, Tyler Harvey UNUSED, Paris Cowan-Hall ( on for Lennox on 72 mins ), Warren Feeney ( on for Griffiths on 60 mins ), Matt Lecointe UNUSED.
The referee for this one is Graham Salisbury who i've seen on a couple of occasions. He reffed our last visit to Grimsby where we won 3-0 i think and he awarded us a penalty which Nicky Wroe dispatched and he also reffed our 3-3 draw at Macc a few seasons back when he also awarded us a penalty which i believe it was Jake Robinson who scored. Third time lucky and a third penalty would do just fine Mr Salisbury. I think you're the best ref in the land and i wish you and your family a very merry Christmas. Ho ho ho.
His assistants are Mr Paul Rees and Mr Michael Salisbury ( his son perhaps? ) and the fourth official who only gets attention when he holds up the board which displays 5 minutes at the end of the 90 is Mr Andrew Bennett.
I apologise for this thread not being up to the standard you discerning Gulls expect in terms of both quantity and entertainment but it IS Christmas and i just wanted to get it up and out of the way now so that i can be three sheets to the wind for the next 4 days and not have to worry about it! Hope you enjoy it anyway. I haven't really got the time to make this my Pulitzer entry at the moment but i hope it ticks some boxes for you miserable Devon simpletons.
A quick Andy's town of the day now and Plymouth. I've been there many times, in fact my family and i love to stay at a holiday park near to Tavistock every year and so make frequent trips into the city. It's a complete sh*thole and there is no getting away from it. It has so much maritime history and so much to offer yet it is so run down that it drives tourists away. I was very, very disappointed the first time i ever went.
I've been to the national marine aquarium which has a few sharks and a cafe, nice but for £30 odd quid for a family of 3, not so nice. It has Drake's Circus Shopping Centre which was quite good and we also walked up to the hoe passing many chavs and drunkards on the way. In short, it's a complete hovel and Exeter knocks spots off it. There's a good TESCO at Roborough and a kiddies indoor play centre nearby but that's it. Total dump full of people who talk funny, like in Torquay.
I'm going for a 2-0 away win here given the fact that Plymouth can't keep a clean sheet and their top scorer has 4 goals, we can shut them out and sneak a result on the break,a perfect plan. Goals from Rene Howe and Nathan Craig for me.
May i take this opportunity to wish all the Gulls and Argyle fans a thoroughly happy Christmas and keep safe and spread the festive love. Obviously i cannot wish this for the chavs as they are the reason why our country is threatened by a new plague, and besides, a chavs Christmas is fully paid for by us - the tax payer.
Seriously, everyone have a great Christmas, Nickgull, Jocktheknife, Gullintwoplaces, and other members that i have kicked off at this last year especially so. It's just a difference of opinion which is now water under the bridge so EVERYONE have a great Christmas, look after yourselves and keep the faith with the mighty yellow army. Hope Father Christmas brings you everything you want which includes 3 points from Home Park. If we don't get that then i'll have my 36 year suspicions confirmed that Father Christmas doesn't actually exist after all and indeed he is in fact a headteacher from Suffolk called Ray who is a bit kinky.
Just before i sign off, a little quiz. Amongst this post are a number of hidden names of fish. See if you can get them all and the one who gets the most wins f*ck all. How's that for a prize?! Joking, i am a kind northerner so would i do that? I was going to offer up a speedboat like off bullseye but i haven't got one so, i'll tell you what, the one with the most correct answers will get a pie off me if you introduce yourself at any game ( mainly away but the odd one at home too ). The offer of a free pie may not be incentive enough seen as the trade off is meeting me so i may actually get away with not buying one for anybody! :~D
Anyway, whatever, i can't say fairer than that, a Yorkshireman parting with cash for something so trivial? Count yourself lucky and say thanks!
MERRY CHRISTMAS ONE AND ALL AND APPRECIATE YOUR LOVED ONES ( why doesn't my other half ever think that ! )
Anyway, the long and short of was that i missed the game and we won 2-1 in front of nearly 2000 gulls packed in like sardines into the Home Park away end courtesy of goals by Billy Bodin ( YES - THAT'S BILLY BODIN
) and Lee Mansell. The crowd was 12,836 and given this game is to played on Boxing Day then i would expect similar if not more in attendance. The reverse fixture at our plaice was a 3-1 win for the mighty men in yellow giving us a double over our second least favourite rivals. A Eunan O'Kane brace and a Stevens goal put us three up.The postponement of our game with bitter rivals Exsh*tter City at least means that the squad have a chance to rest further and some players on the cusp of fitness such as Niall Thompson may be fit and ready for this one. One thing is for sure, the players will need to bounce back from the frustration of conceding the injury time Cobblers leveller last weekend by getting some sort of result at Home Park. They need to be up for this one otherwise we could be in for a difficult afternoon, take on the challenge and things could be looking bleak for the Janners. They too, like us have had a few problems with discipline and if we wind them up they could end up men light and completely rudderless. A win for us and it's happy dace!
The fact is that many of Argyle fans still think they are a huge club, and in terms of the local area that is true. They are the biggest city in England never to have played in the top division and i'm sure they will think i'm a tail for bringing that up again but i just wanted to drill it in that Plymouth will NEVER play in the top flight. When you are the current third best team in Devon behind 'supposed' minnows like Torquay and Exeter then it's a long way from there to the Prem i can tell you. In short, Plymouth are a poor side, have no money and a lot of their fans believe they are either the anti-christ or that their club will bounce back. Wrong on both counts. They also have a high concentration of chav fans who still haven't worked out that the rest of the world is laughing at them and the way they dress and the fact that they cannot communicate properly and doing so with a west country accent makes them sound like scarecrows. I've got a Yorkshire accent thank God.
Baboons at Twycross are more effective communicators than the burberry clad Garg chavs and all THEY do is pull moonies all day! Hey, it works for them. I've heard that on occasions some of them are known to hang around outside the away end waiting for the away fans to emerge after the game, they are that hard that they have to go in groups, a bit like our friends the baboons in fact. The sooner the Government brings out a white paper proposing the cull of badly dressed retarded common chavs and their offspring the better, or alternatively i can suggest something which may work more effectively. Take away their free housing and let them freeze and starve to death on the streets and give their houses to someone who wil appreciate it and won't try and keep warm by burning mattresses and sofas in their back yard. Oh and their Japanese Akita / Staffy / Brazilian Tosa or whatever dog they own and have absolutely zero comprehension of how the breed they have should function and be trained should be taken away, retrained and rehomed before it mauls a kid because the owners have treated it like a weapon / fashion accessory. No, in fact having said all that, just cull them all. ( owners not the dogs ). Merry Christmas everyone!! :~D
Right, the serious business now. Argyle were one of the few teams to have had a game on saturday as their fixture up at Accrington survived the weather. They were 1-0 up thanks to a first half Bhasera strike but then conceded a second half equaliser scored by ex-Prem star James Beattie who is a dab hand at finding the net. A true goal poacher. The gargs were then awarded a penalty which Warren Feeney missed and they still couldn't grab the winner despite Stanley 'keeper Rachubka seeing red shortly after. The game before that they drew 1-1 at Exeter, promising youngster Joe Lennox, son of Annie levelling for the Pilgrims after the Greeks had a 1-0 half time lead.
The 'muff sit in 20th place in league 2 on 23 points and they have only won one of their last 10 league games, a 2-0 home win v York and they were also dumped out of the FA Cup by non league opposition as we were suffering a 1-0 away defeat to Dorchester Town. They haven't had a 0-0 for 17 games and the York game aside, they haven't kept a clean sheet since drawing with us at Plainmoor back in September. If Lingy doesn't take this game by the scruff of the neck then i want to know why not. Plymouth are clearly vulnerable, brittle and also have disciplinary issues so if we don't force this and at least score then i will be setting some fireworks off in my house and then getting p*ssed. Their top scorer is Paris Cowan-Hall on 4 ( don't laugh ), followed by Warren Feeney on 3 as is Rhys Griffiths. I like the Zimbabwean defender Onismor Bhasera, he looks a solid player and 'keeper Jake Cole has good pedigree too. Coley spent 7 years at QPR but is playing second fiddle to Rene Gilmartin. They also have former Birmingham player Darren Purse as well as Irish playmaker Conor Hourihane and ex Everton player Nick Chadwick. Defender Robbie Williams is named after one of the most annoying people of all time whose songs induce coma. Why oh why do you never get a defender called Kurt Cobain or Eddie Vedder? That would be sh*t hot! Joe Lennox also looks a useful prospect for the future but I don't feel to dismissive when i say that the rest of their squad is pretty poor and a complete overhaul of personnel is required before the Green Army can even contemplate any tilt at a promotion push. As it stands they have well and truly been knocked off their perch when you consider just a few short years ago they were doing well in the Championship.
Last time out v Accrington:
1. Rene Gilmartin (gk)
2. Durrell Berry ( what a ridiculous name, sounds like an air freshener! )
3. Darren Purse
4. Onismor Bhasera
5. Curtis Nelson
6. Robbie Williams
7. Conor Hourihane
8. Luke Young
9. Joe Lennox
10. Nick Chadwick
11. Rhys Griffiths
SUBS: Jake Cole UNUSED, Jamie Lowry UNUSED, Jamie Richards UNUSED, Tyler Harvey UNUSED, Paris Cowan-Hall ( on for Lennox on 72 mins ), Warren Feeney ( on for Griffiths on 60 mins ), Matt Lecointe UNUSED.
The referee for this one is Graham Salisbury who i've seen on a couple of occasions. He reffed our last visit to Grimsby where we won 3-0 i think and he awarded us a penalty which Nicky Wroe dispatched and he also reffed our 3-3 draw at Macc a few seasons back when he also awarded us a penalty which i believe it was Jake Robinson who scored. Third time lucky and a third penalty would do just fine Mr Salisbury. I think you're the best ref in the land and i wish you and your family a very merry Christmas. Ho ho ho.
His assistants are Mr Paul Rees and Mr Michael Salisbury ( his son perhaps? ) and the fourth official who only gets attention when he holds up the board which displays 5 minutes at the end of the 90 is Mr Andrew Bennett.
I apologise for this thread not being up to the standard you discerning Gulls expect in terms of both quantity and entertainment but it IS Christmas and i just wanted to get it up and out of the way now so that i can be three sheets to the wind for the next 4 days and not have to worry about it! Hope you enjoy it anyway. I haven't really got the time to make this my Pulitzer entry at the moment but i hope it ticks some boxes for you miserable Devon simpletons.
A quick Andy's town of the day now and Plymouth. I've been there many times, in fact my family and i love to stay at a holiday park near to Tavistock every year and so make frequent trips into the city. It's a complete sh*thole and there is no getting away from it. It has so much maritime history and so much to offer yet it is so run down that it drives tourists away. I was very, very disappointed the first time i ever went.
I've been to the national marine aquarium which has a few sharks and a cafe, nice but for £30 odd quid for a family of 3, not so nice. It has Drake's Circus Shopping Centre which was quite good and we also walked up to the hoe passing many chavs and drunkards on the way. In short, it's a complete hovel and Exeter knocks spots off it. There's a good TESCO at Roborough and a kiddies indoor play centre nearby but that's it. Total dump full of people who talk funny, like in Torquay.
I'm going for a 2-0 away win here given the fact that Plymouth can't keep a clean sheet and their top scorer has 4 goals, we can shut them out and sneak a result on the break,a perfect plan. Goals from Rene Howe and Nathan Craig for me.
May i take this opportunity to wish all the Gulls and Argyle fans a thoroughly happy Christmas and keep safe and spread the festive love. Obviously i cannot wish this for the chavs as they are the reason why our country is threatened by a new plague, and besides, a chavs Christmas is fully paid for by us - the tax payer.
Seriously, everyone have a great Christmas, Nickgull, Jocktheknife, Gullintwoplaces, and other members that i have kicked off at this last year especially so. It's just a difference of opinion which is now water under the bridge so EVERYONE have a great Christmas, look after yourselves and keep the faith with the mighty yellow army. Hope Father Christmas brings you everything you want which includes 3 points from Home Park. If we don't get that then i'll have my 36 year suspicions confirmed that Father Christmas doesn't actually exist after all and indeed he is in fact a headteacher from Suffolk called Ray who is a bit kinky.
Just before i sign off, a little quiz. Amongst this post are a number of hidden names of fish. See if you can get them all and the one who gets the most wins f*ck all. How's that for a prize?! Joking, i am a kind northerner so would i do that? I was going to offer up a speedboat like off bullseye but i haven't got one so, i'll tell you what, the one with the most correct answers will get a pie off me if you introduce yourself at any game ( mainly away but the odd one at home too ). The offer of a free pie may not be incentive enough seen as the trade off is meeting me so i may actually get away with not buying one for anybody! :~D
Anyway, whatever, i can't say fairer than that, a Yorkshireman parting with cash for something so trivial? Count yourself lucky and say thanks!
MERRY CHRISTMAS ONE AND ALL AND APPRECIATE YOUR LOVED ONES ( why doesn't my other half ever think that ! )
